Helena Bonham Carter - One Shots

Gone too far

TW: Self-harm

I ran through the front door, letting it slam behind me. I knew no one was home so I just ran straight up into my room and threw my bag on the bed. I found my headphones, connected them to my phone and played loud music, knowing damn well I will get a headache later but right now I didn't care.

I rushed into the bathroom and shut the door behind me, not bothered to lock any doors as I knew nobody would be home for a couple hours and I need relief now.

I jumbled in my drawer until I found my box and took one of the blades out of it. I pulled the sleeve of my hoodie up and pressed the blade on my left forearm, before slicing it and repeating it over and over, until half of the clean area was bleeding heavily. The last thing I remember was someone taking my headphones off and muffled cries before I blacked out on the cold bathroom floor.

10 minutes later:

I opened my eyes and was almost immediately blinded by the bright bathroom light. I shut them quickly and leaned my head back down, only to realize I was laying on someone's lap. I shot my eyes back open and hastily sat up, right away getting dizzy and regretting doing so. As my vision unblurred itself, I realized it was Mum.

Fuck.

She sat there, leaning against the wall with tear stained cheeks but no longer crying. I remembered what had happened earlier and immediately glanced down on my arm, just to see it all bandaged up and bloody tissues along with a blooded towel scattered around the bathroom.

I looked back at Mum and broke down. She instantly pulled me into her arms and allowed me to sob out for who knows how long into her chest. I heard her sob slightly but I guessed she cried heavily before I came back around.

"H-how long was I out for?" I coughed out quietly. "About 10 minutes" Mum whispered, with love and worry in her voice as she kept stroking my head.

“I cleaned- them all up. They aren't too deep so you don't need to go to the hospital, but if you want to or feel like you need to let me know, alright?” I nodded along as Mum explained, on the verge of breaking down.

I glanced up at Mum as she gave me a slight smile. "Are you mad?" I asked cautiously, not really wanting to know the answer.

"No, of course not. Not at you at least" I understood she was blaming herself and it hurt me but I was too tired and weak to bargain with her about this right now.

"I noticed you had, urmm…. old and healing scars too…. Could we talk about that? Please" Mum pleaded, swallowing hard in between words. I knew this was probably not easy for her but I had no energy for this right now.

"Yeah, I guess we'll have too. But please, not now. I'm exhausted and all I want right now is sleep" Mum looked down at me with visible hurt in her eyes before nodding. She stood up and picked me up from the floor, carrying me into my room in bridal style and resting me on my bed.

I pulled my sleeves down while she tucked me in and gave me a kiss on my forehead. She turned to walk away when I gripped her wrist and held her back, forcing her to turn back around to face me. "Please stay" I pleaded, tears threatening to fall out of my eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll just clean the bathroom so you don't get reminded of this or have to do it later, and I'll be right back. Also, I'm sorry honey, but I need to know - do you have anything else you could use and where?" I nodded, before replying "In the drawer under the sink. A metal box" I knew she would probably be shocked to see the rest of my stash but I didn't really care anymore.

Minutes later I heard Mum gasp, flush something down the toilet and then light sobs. Eventually she came back with a clean face - no makeup or mascara stains left, revealing her red, puffy eyes.

She smiled lightly before getting into the bed, behind me and under the duvet, cuddling me from behind. I immediately turned around to face her and buried my face in her chest. She hugged me tightly before I began slowly drifting off to sleep.

~Words Count: 774~