Wandering Versions

Kabanata 2

"Sorry, Pa." I felt ashamed while facing my father. Sobra-sobra na ang hirap na dinaranas niya araw-araw, dinagdagan ko pa.

"Wala kang kasalanan, anak. Kilala kita, hinding-hindi mo magagawa 'yon," niyakap niya ako at hinayaang umiyak ako sa balikat niya.

Chelsea and Marivic were privileged enough to transfer out of the school and avoid facing people's judgement. Thankfully, there were CCTV cameras around the area where the incident happened. The girl who got hit by a car broke her arm, and it was proven that Marivic was the one who pushed her. I never had any updates about them. 

They never had the chance to talk to me again. Or if they just don't want to, maybe I'll never receive the apology that I deserve.

"Bakit hindi pa siya expelled? Hindi ba may kaso siya ng bullying?"

"Ewan ko nga eh, ano pa bang aasahan natin? Dayo lang naman siya rito sa Hiraya."

"Bakit hindi pa siya ang nabangga?"

When I literally had my reasons to not go to school, I still faced them. Masakit yung mga salita, lahat ng sinasabi nila tumatagos sa dibdib ko. Pero pakiramdam ko ay deserve ko yung sakit, dapat lang na may ganito akong dinadala.

Wala na rito sa school yung dalawa, wala na akong hinahabol. Hindi na rin ako bumubuntot sa mga tao, wala na akong kinokopyahan ng kung ano mang bagay ang meron sila. Okay na 'to, basta pumasok lang ako. Nakausap na namin ang guidance office kahapon, napatunayan ko naman na wala talaga akong kasalanan. Malinis ang imahe ko sa papel, pero ang dumi na ng tingin ko sa sarili ko dahil sa mga sinasabi nila.

How can I be someone that everyone could accept? When I'm already at this point where my presence is already hated?

"Sorry, if 'di kayo comfortable sa presence ko, pwede naman akong lumipat." Sinabi ko ito bago ako umupo sa pagitan ni Haoran at Maki.

Hindi na nila ako inaasar kagaya ng dati, siguro ay naiilang na sila. Tama, pare-parehas lang silang lahat ng tingin sa akin. Dahil kaibigan ko si Chelsea na mataas ang tingin sa sarili, at si Marivic na inaatake ka patalikod, syempre masama na rin ako.

"Good afternoon class! I'm here again to replace your English teacher. Sawa na ba kayo kay Sir?" ang taas ng energy ni Sir Dezma nang pumasok siya sa room. Hindi ko ma-reach.

Kahit na kilala na namin siya, gusto niya ulit kaming magpakilala. Sana pala 'di na ako pumasok.

"I'm Yeon Ferrer, fourteen."

I looked at the vacant chair beside him and remembered how I would always look at Sea and Mari's backs so I shook my head.

"I have a question for you again, Ferrer. Wait, do you remember what I asked you last year?"

"What color do I think represents me the most? Uh, I think it's still blue, and this time it's because I like the ocean."

"What made you like the ocean, Yeon?" Sir added.

"Probably because of One Piece."

I heard Haoran and Maki laugh and watched Yeon went back to his seat.

"Hello po ulit, Sir Pogi. Ako si Haoran Lim, ang volleyball hottie ng Hiraya," Haoran was full of energy and he even posed as if he was competing.

Our teacher laughed. "Sige, ano nga ulit yung question ko sayo last year?"

"Sir ibahin niyo naman! Ang boring kung isasagot ko na naman si Ferrer at Ernest sa mga taong grateful ako," reklamo nito.

"Sige, iba nalang. Why do you consider yourself as Hiraya's volleyball hottie?"