Shining star- an Oshi No Ko rewrite

Yozora pov: Chapter 9: masked reality

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Timeskip: one year later.....
Its been one year since my debut concert, and im doing pretty well. As well as a fake as hell, sleep deprived, half-starved and tired person can be. The idol industry has so many secrets and they are SCARY. Anyway, things are going along pretty well. My best friend- uh- assistant Faye and i are bonding along pretty well. We seem to have our own japanese, english hybrid language. かっこいわ！But honestly. She's amazing. Throughout calculating my "perfect" smile and all the tough stuff like stamina exercises and long hellish concerts and to me literally on the verge of crying for the single reason that im living the fakest lie of all, Faye has helped me get through, over it. She's my best friend and i don't know if she thinks the same, but she's amazing. But seriously. I do NOT know how the other idols do it. They flawlessly say they love their fans without any guilt. Yet, i am spreading lies like "i love you!" and "i'm so happy to be here and see you!" when im suffering through unbearable guilt, pain and stress, panicking should my lies be revealed. My mental breakdowns due to this are countless and really just pure sadness deep inside me. I do wish i could love my fans, i do, but i can't seem to. All the tears ive cried and all my blood and sweat. I pile lies upon lies upon lies. If even one gets revealed. Everything ive been through, built up and suffered for in the past year just goes poof and gone. I'm honestly so grateful for Faye, and she's been my rock through it all, and i mean literally through it all. My random bursts of tears and ranting about stuff and the masked reality im living in, sometimes i wonder about her life too, but she's so secretive about it. i just hope the rest of my career will be better or at least not as torturing. (i swear the best part of my day is talking to Faye about it)