Galimgim

/13/ Connected

We studied until eleven pm. I think that if we'd go beyond that, my brain wouldn't function anymore. I yawned.

"Let's stop here, we'll finish it tomorrow."

I just nod at him. Hindi ko siya kakikitaan ng pagkabagot. Hindi ko rin siya nakikitang napapagod o inaantok man lang sa ginagawa niya.

He's really enjoying this. Siya lang kasi ang nag'i'enjoy, ako bagot na bagot na. Kahit na gusto kong makasama ko siya nang matagal pa, ayoko namang mag'aral pa gayong inaantok na talaga ako.

Mula sa pagkakaantok ay nagising ako. If this is the key to his heart; studying with him, always being there for him, would I do it? Will I risk my privacy just so I could be connected to him?

We sleep on the same bed again. Malapad naman ang kama kaya ayos lang naman. Pero parang. . . gusto ko siyang yakapin.

Kapag talaga malapit ang taong mahal mo, hindi mo alam kung susunod ka ba sa utos ng damdamin mo, dahil ang daming gustong gawin nito. Ayaw ko namang mapahiya, mas mabuti nang magtiis na lang kaysa pagsisihan ko pa bukas.

I just dozed it off. Hindi ko na alam kung anong oras na ako nakatulog, hindi ko rin alam kung ramdam niya na matagal bago ako nakatulog kahit na antok na antok naman ako kanina ng nag'aaral pa kami.

He woke me up the next morning, saying he's sorry but we need to study as our studying would only go to waste if we won't make it to the top. He's right, though.

"You look. . . good."

I blushed as he complimented me. I know I don't look good in the morning. . . but. . . I want to believe him this time.

"T-thanks," alanganin kong sambit.

Sabay kaming pumasok sa eskwela at hindi na nakapag'usap pa, not until lunch time. He's my reminder if I didn't eat my lunch. Of course, he already packed lunch for us.

"Christian, may nagagandahan ka ba sa mga kaklase natin? O kahit nasa ibang section o grade, pwede rin basta nagagandahan mo,"

That was my indirect way of asking him if he likes someone. Because if he did, I'd be sad, of course. But that would give me an idea of what his type of girl is.

"Ikaw,"

"Ako?"

"Oo."

"Si Ana,"

Bakit ba ako ang tinatanong niya? Siya itong tinatanong ko ah?

Nalukot ang mukha niya. Mukha bang may mali sa sagot ko. Namali ba ako ng pagkakaintindi?

"Sino nga 'yung nagagandahan mo, ako itong nagtatanong eh!" medyo naiinis na.

"I told you that it's you, Iris!"

A-ako? Hindi ako nakasagot agad. Pero hindi pa rin sapat iyon na gusto na niya ako, nagagandahan lang naman. Dapat diniretso ko na siya eh, nang hindi na ako mag'assume pa.

We just laughed it off. Sinabi niyang maganda naman kasi talaga ako, ayaw ko lang paniwalaan dahil mas nakikita ko ang ganda ng iba kaysa sa sarili ko. I am good at seeing the good in others but didn't see mine.

That was so nice of him. At least ngayon, alam ko na. He asked me then if I have someone in mind that I find handsome. I told him that it's him.

Wala nang hiya'hiya to. He told me that he cannot deny that he's handsome, kumpara sa akin, mas kilala daw niya sarili niya. We laughed it off at pagkatapos ay balik aral ulit.

With that, I can say that we're starting to get connected. From the heart.

*

I almost did it. When I say almost, there is a bit of disappointment I felt when it's finally over. There's many should've. I should've studied more. I should've studied earlier. I should've prepared early.