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/14/ Not a Luck

We did it. We finished our four-year course. Sa una lang talaga mahirap and when you get used to it, it became easy for you. Or should I say, it trained you and you don't have choice but to grab it.

There are times that I want to give up. But there's Christian that always helps me whenever he has the time. Sa tingin ko nga, mas inuuna pa niya ang pangangailangan ko kaysa sa sarili niya eh. Kaya naman ingat na ingat ako kapag humihingi sa kanya ng tulong.

The truth is the struggle in studying is not even half of what we would be struggling in the future. You don't know what's ahead of you. Christian and I really made it as he graduated summa cum laude and me, the magna.

Tinutukso na nga kami ng aming mga kaklase kung bakit daw ba hindi na lang kami. O kung kami man, bakit ayaw ipaalam. We always laughed it all off.

It's true that the process is always what's fun and not the goal. Because when you reached your goal, you'd be asking yourself, 'what's next?' I enjoyed it, though, so I have nothing to regret now. Or maybe, I enjoyed the whole journey because I am with him. He is with me.

What I thought to be hard before were all stories now. I am now what I thought I wouldn't be. My parents were so proud of me. Ang sarap pala sa pakiramdam. Kahit ngayon lang, naging masaya naman ako. 'Di bale na ang mga paghihirap ko, it all paid off now.

Christian and I received plenty of awards we couldn't even thought we could've. It's so unexpected. My classmates were so happy. Well, ilan na lang kaming grumaduate, kasali na ang ibang section. Medyo malungkot na mahuhuli sila, but I guess, if it's really for you, you'll get it when you truly worked hard for it.

The real battle begins outside the class. So, we really thrived hard, Christian and I to ace the upcoming Civil Engineering Licensure Exam. We studied together.

My parents already knew about Christian and to my surprise, they're already seems so close. I even thought that they would oppose our relationship, well, I just introduced him as my friend. I just don't know what they think about us.

We rented an apartment on Cebu. We're in the same unit, but separate rooms. Well, I was comfortable being with him that even if I lay beside him, I won't mind. Well, I mind it but not to the extent that I won't get comfortable with him.

*

I couldn't count how many times I had sleepless nights. I mean, we. We're getting along well. Yun nga lang, siya lang talaga ang tagapagluto all throughout the six months we stayed there.

Sometimes, I insisted but he just made me sit and watch him. I didn't go on further after that. My thoughts will just wander on God-knows-where.

Dumating na nga ang araw na pinakahihintay namin. Ito yung araw na pinaghahandaan lang namin dati. I felt nervous as hours passed by. Tingin ko nga, kapag nagkape pa ako, hindi ko na siguro makakaya at mahimatay na ako sa sobrang kaba.

Ayos naman pagdating sa board exam. Hindi ko nga naisip na magiging mas madali ito. Siguro na rin ay dahil sa puspusang pag'aaral namin noon, na pang'board exam 'yung halos i'quiz at ibigay na exams sa'min. Naging madali na dahil napag'aralan na namin halos lahat.

So, this is where I need to have a luck. But should I really rely just on luck? Should I rather believe on myself?

This isn't about luck after all. When you haven't made it, the luck is not to blame if you believed on it. Sana nga marami ang naniniwala na makakaya ko ito.

We passed the exam. I topped 9. Christian topped 3. I am so proud of him! That's my man!

I believe it wasn't just a luck. Maybe, discipline is what it all takes. Being in love with studying and focus made me do it to the top.

Dahil na rin sa nag'top kami ay marami ang gustong kumuha sa amin. Marami ang tumatawag at napagdesisyunan namin ni Christian na sa iisang kompanya lang kami.

Our blooming relationship wouldn't be a hindrance as we will both be busy on our own work, though there will be a chance that we'd work on the same project, we knew how to act professional when we're both at our work. I guess, this is also one of the advantages of having a relationship with someone who's mindset is like yours.

I guess we're not lucky. It's just that we believed on ourselves more than anyone. It's not luck that made us where we are today. It is mainly because we are what we believed we should.

*

Napagtanto ko na ang dami ko pa palang hindi alam sa mundo. Just like how that world is cruel to those unfortunate ones. And to those who should have much more to learn.

I failed several times in my job. So, this is the real world. Akala ko pa nga, ayos na ang lahat dahil nakapagtrabaho na ako, dito pa lang pala magsisimula ang pagkatuto.

I was happy that Christian shared some of his knowledge about being a good leader. Without it, I wouldn't have even a bit of information about how I should lead. As for Christian, he did well.

The lessons we've learned about work, we used it as an opportunity for growth. We both know we need to grow. That is why we didn't push through our relationship first. We both need time.

And as I thought we learned much; a new problem would rise. It is as if that if you learned a thing, another would arise. The more you learn, the more you need to learn.

I became good with my work after that. I didn't let feelings get in the way. Sometimes, Christian and I couldn't make time for each other, but we understood each other. We knew how much we love our work that we don't want our relationship to get in the way too.

Speaking of our relationship, we both agreed na kami na talaga. Hindi ko na hinayaang manligaw pa siya. Years we spent on each other is more than enough. Hindi pa ba panliligaw ang tawag sa palagi niya ako niyayayang kumain at tinutulungan sa mga schoolworks?

Our family is okay with it. Ang akala nga daw nila ay matagal nang kami. They told us that we're old enough to make decisions for our relationship. Hindi nila kami papangunahan.

I guess, this is my reward for being a good daughter. For chasing my dreams first. For making the growth on myself first before entering romantic relationships.

I am so proud of myself that I made it this far. I'm glad I met Christan that made me the happiest woman in the world, I thought so. We're both happy for what we've become.