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/5/ The Fire to Begin

For me to truly decide what I want in life, I must want it badly. Not just a passing wish, but the kind of want that burns. That fierce desire that ignites passion and fuels persistence. I knew I had found it---because wanting something that much sets you on fire inside.

I realized I have a love for challenge. My decision felt like a daring mountain to climb, a test that would lead me to my next journey. I could already see myself traversing the path toward my goals, step by determined step.

It wasn't even the end goal  that drew me in---it was the process. The grit, the discipline, the long road ahead. I knew that once I reached the peak, I'd probably look around and said, What's next?But that didn't bother me. The journey was worth it.

That night after dinner, I took my first small step toward that dream: leaning to get better at it. I didn't expect to be the best---just good enough to keep moving forward. I even joined a few Facebook communities, something I normally avoided. Social media groups weren't my thing, but I knew this would help me learn.

To make room for this, I decided to give up one of my biggest indulgences---reading stories for hours on end. As much as I loved it, this dream required sacrifices. Sometimes, you have to let go of comfortable habits to make space for growth.

By nine o'clock, I was already in bed. At four in the morning, I woke up and prayed first thing. Then I spent an hour reading self-help books I had downloaded the night before, followed by a ten-minute meditation. Exactly as I had written in my journal the night before, my day unfolded just as I had envisioned.

From that moment, I promised myself to stick to this routine. My life is full of dreams waiting to be realized, and now is the time to act. I have the hours, the focus, and the drive---so I must make use of it.

The college entrance exam was drawing near. I had prepared diligently, reviewing each subject as I assumed the test would be divided into five sections. I thought I was ready.

But sometimes, life doesn't follow the script you've imagined---no matter how strong your gut feeling is. The day of the exam came, and to my surprise, it was entirely math. Not just ordinary math, but complex, mind-bending equations.