Matt Sturniolo ☹️❤️

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TW: self harm, blades , panic attack, scars
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Matt's POV:
Chris blocks the door; leaving me unable to leave.
"Chris, please move the fuck AWAY" I yell, tears started to fall from my eyes.
"Matt, please just answer Nicks question, why did that hurt so much?" Chris says softly, patiently.
I turn around to see Nick staring at me.
"Matt, show us your thighs." Nick says, with a sullen look on his face. Finally it all hits me, i'm going to have to tell them sooner or later, or they'll find out.
I start sobbing, the tears won't stop falling. I fall to the ground and curl up to my knees.
"i'm sorry i'm sorry please i'm sorry I didn't mean to" I kept repeating those same words for God knows how long.

   "Shhh it's okay Matt" I feel Nick and Chris huddled up on both sides beside me, calming me down. 

  After i've calmed down a little bit, I look to Nick and Chris with my swollen eyes. Just to see their faces in pure shock, looking at the upper thigh of my grey sweatpants. I look down to see that one grey sweats- now all stained red. Fuck, I don't give them time to process this- I get up and run straight to the bathroom.

I rush to the bathroom, as soon as I closes the door Nick and Chris are already at the door banging it.
"MATT OPEN THE DOOR" "MATT PLEASE" I hears Nick and Chris on the other side of the door. No please no.

I slide down the bathroom wall and start sobbing, my body is shaking, my heart is pounding, my thigh is bleeding, i can't breathe.
I start hyperventilating, choking on my breathes.

Nick and Chris still banging on the door; finally Nick picks the lock and opens the door. Chris and Nick barge in and sit next to me on the floor, they pull me into a big hug.

  After 15 minutes i've finally called down, this was the moment I have been dreading. I'm gonna have to talk to them, even the thought of it makes me nauseous.

    "Matt, can I bandage your scars?" Chris asks me, we both know Nick hates blood so Chris didn't bother asking him to do it. I look at Nick and Chris who stare at me, waiting for an answer.
"u-hm I guess" I manage to say.

    Nick goes up to his room to get bandages and disinfectants, he gets back and hands them to Chris. I stare at Chris with tears in my eyes, how do I show him the scars? I think to myself.

  "Okay, Matt where are your scars.." Chris seems almost scared to hear the answer of that question. He looks into my eyes waiting for an answer.
"just my thighs" I say, barely above a whisper, Chris hears me and nods. I slowly lower my sweatpants, leaving me in my boxers. Which revealed the scars. I could tell Chris's heart drops as he saw them, all I could do was stare at him in teary eyes.
"I'm sorry i'm sorry" I told Chris.
"You don't ever need to apologize to me about this Matt" Chris replied, I could tell he was on the verge of tears.

  Once Chris finished cleaning and bandaging my scars, he gave me a new pair of sweats and I put those on. Nick is waiting for us on my bed as we enter my room.
"Please, I just want to go sleep" I say, i'm exhausted.
Nick and Chris hum in agreement, we all decided to sleep in my room tonight.

I fell asleep very quickly, I just needed sleep so bad.

Third Person POV:
Matt was asleep, now it was just Chris and Nick up.
"Chris, i'm really worried about Matt" Nick says with concern in his voice.
"Me too Nick, I don't know what we did wrong-"
"No, we cannot blame ourselves Chris, we tried but Matt wouldn't talk" Nick says, raising his a little.
Chris nods in agreement.
"Goodnight"
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i don't like this chapter but 🤷‍♀️
if yall have any suggestions pls lmk !!