Matt Sturniolo ☹️❤️

Close Call

Throughout the story the POVS will change

TW: self-harm, scars
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Third person POV:
Matt has been struggling with self-harm and depression for the last few months. He's done a solid job at hiding his scars, except two days ago Chris almost walked in while Matt was self-harming.
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2 days ago
Matt's POV :
I just feel so empty. I don't feel happy, angry, at this point I don't even feel sad. Just numb, I was just existing, just there. I just needed to feel something- anything at this point I don't even care, i'm going insane.

Then I remember the one thing that makes me feel something. I use all the energy I have and make my way to my bathroom, close the door and collapse down the wall. As I get my phone out of my pocket I quickly take off the case and take out the blade. My heart drops when I see the blade and tears form in my eyes.

     I quickly roll my sweatpants down; leaving me in just my boxers. Slowly I bring the blade to my thigh and drag it across, watching the blood droplets drip down my leg. The pain I felt was addicting "just one more cut" I kept repeating until my whole upper thigh was littered in cuts.

   As I was busy staring at the dried blood on my legs and feeling the addictive pain and the enormous pit of guilt buried in my stomach, I snapped out of it and heard Chris walking towards the bathroom.
"HEY MATT" Chris yelled.
I hear the bathroom doorknob rattle, Chris wasn't much for privacy, plus my dumbass forgot to lock it.
"Fuck" I mumbled under my breathe.
As quick as I could I wiped as much blood off the floor as I could and pulled up my sweatpants to cover my stinging thigh, swiftly hiding the blade behind me on the floor.
The door opens.

   As he opens it I attempt to wipe my eyes from the tears forming.
"Kid what the fuck are you sitting on the floor for" Chris says while laughing.
I'm pretty sure he saw the blood on the floor- I'm not sure if he knows it's blood or thinks it's something else. Thankfully, he doesn't question it.
"Chris get the fuck out right now" I say sharply.
He shot me a surprised expression but carried on.
"Sure, but Nick said to get ready, we are filming a video soon" He said while closing the door and walking out.

I let out a sign of relief, lifted my knees to my chest and dropped my head to rest on my knees. I sat like that for a good five-minutes til' Nick knocked on the door and told me to hurry up. Quickly I wiped the floor with paper towels, put my blade in my phone case, fighting the urge to do just one more cut, and cleaned up my cuts.

I go to my room and pick out a Pythia hoodie, baggy jeans, silver rings, and air forces. I slip on my jeans trying my hardest to ignore the burning stinging sensation on my thigh. My phone buzzes, I check my phone and see a text from Nick.

Nick 😇
We are in the car waiting, hurry the fuck up 🙏
read: 12:34am

I head to the car, sit inside and crank up the AC. Still, I feel nothing. Just a lot of nothing, emptiness. While i'm deep into my thoughts, Chris interrupts me.
"Hey Matt you alright? In the bathroom you were sitting on the floor, it looked like you were crying?"
I froze. My heart sank, even though how badly I wanted to tell them, I couldn't. Nick and Chris stared at me, I know they can read me like a book and that is what scares me.
"Oh that? I'm alright I wasn't crying you just caught me off guard" I let out a forceful smile.
"Hm, alright" Chris replies, he definitely knew something was up and I was terrified.

The rest of the video I tried my best to focus but I kept zoning off, pinching myself to focus myself. By mistake, I hissed in pain from pinching myself, Nick and Chris look at me with concern in their eyes. They have to know what's going on right?
"Matt you're sure you're alright?" Nick says worriedly.
"Yeah..Nick i'm fine don't worry about me, just accidentally my scratched myself while itching my arm" I said while laughing it off.
Nick and Chris didn't really seem to buy it. Whatever, atleast they didn't say anything about it.
Quickly enough, we finished filming and turned off the camera.
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Next chapter will be from present time

Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter!!
I don't know how I feel about it 😭
Please let me know if it's good or bad or just any feedback you have for me
Also I might take a while to update or not, it depends how i feel. Writing this chapter made me anxious whenever I opened it and began typing so I took A LOT of tiktok breaks, literally took me all day☠️