woso - new player

Statement

TW FOR ALL OF THE NEXT CHAPTERS

It had been four days since Gracie had been discharged and things weren't going great. She was angry she was still here but almost like she was mourning what had happened, she refused to talk about any of it. Liv tried everything- sitting her down, driving her somewhere, over coffee, while listening to music, while cuddling- but no matter the format it was done in she wouldn't talk about what had happened. Her mouth was bolted shut.
But the worst part by far was trying to get her to take her medication that now was kept on the top shelf with a padlock, something that Gracie had asked Liv to do. She didn't trust herself and she knew that if she was given the opportunity she would take it.
It was the fifth day morning when the club finally called.
______
Gracie's POV:

I wasn't going to answer the phone but seeing that it was Jonas I didn't really have a choice.

Me: hi?

Jonas: hi Gracie, how have you been?
I mean it wasn't a pleasant break, I did sort of try to kill myself but I guess I've been good since then

Me: fine

Jonas: I've talked to the board and I've talked to Molly and we've agreed that what's going to happen is you aren't going to return for at least two months. You are going to have to go through psychological testing and also medical tests as well. We can't risk your safety by rushing you. However we do think it would be beneficial for you to come and watch the girls train once or twice a week and just hang out with them all for a bit.

Me: ok

Jonas: good. Now the other thing...in terms of what happened *he gulped a bit* Well the public obviously don't need to know and we'd be happy to release a statement stating you're unavailable for selection until further notice?

Me: yeah that's fine

Jonas: now as far as I'm aware on the team only Leah, Viv, Kim and Beth know what happened, is that correct?

Me: yeah

Jonas: would you like for us to tell the rest of the girls what has happened or would you like to?

Me: I don't want them to know anything. Just say something has personal has happened and I can't focus on football at the moment.

Jonas: ok then. How are you feeling, Gracie?

Me: good.

Jonas: the club are here to support you- anything you need

Me: ok...thanks

_______
The very awkward call ended and I sighed. The team can't know. They'll always look at me differently if they knew. They'll have questions that I can't answer. They won't be able to stand me. Hell, I can't even stand myself.
Liv came over and sat down beside.

"Gracie we need to talk about this. This can't just be forgotten about"
I rolled my eyes. 

"Yes it can" I hissed back.
Liv shook her head. We were sat on the couch, same as most days.

"No Gracie. We are going to talk about this."
I slumped down further on the couch and pulled up my hood.
"What made you do it?" She asked in almost a whisper.

"A lot of things" I whispered back.

"We'll talk about that more later but let's focus on the here and now. Why do you keep having panic attacks?"

I shook my head.
"I don't know"

"And what can I do to help you when they happen?"