Whispers in the confessional ~ Wolfstar

Chapter 14- suposed to be

Sirius Blacks point of view:

It had been a few weeks since the movie night incident and it hadn't been brought up once. I honestly think he might of been too tried to know what he was doing at the time and couldn't even remember it now. But I wasn't too concerned about a kiss I shared with a celibate priest weeks ago, I was concerned about next week.

Next week I would be, one whole month sober. Crazy, I never thought I could last a day and now it's almost a month. But the month thing wasn't important, what sexy priest costume was I buying for Remus?  That was the one and only thought plaguing my mind.

It ran through my head every hour of the day. And the more I thought about the sexy priest costume the more I thought about the kiss. And how much I wanted it again. I had even gotten James in on it and now he was sending me photos of costumes he found and mainly just laughed at them.

But I had to focus on the present, the now.

"So, almost a month sober now." He smiled, folding his arms as we awkwardly, once again, sat opposite each other in cheap plastic blue chairs. His voice gracefully echoed around the church hall before finding its way into my ear and staining my brain with the colour of lust. "Well done, honestly Sirius, well done."

I smiled, sincerely.

"Are you proud of yourself? You should be." He put an awkward thumbs up.

"Yeah I think I actually am." I nodded.

"Do you feel any different?" He asked.

"Happier, less stressed, more energetic and I feel cleaner inside?" I narrowed my eyes but it was true.

"That makes sense." He left his chair, slowly and carefully and if the ground beneath us may crack, he came up behind my chair and gave me a pat on the shoulder, "Well done." He said in a low whisper.

How heterosexual was that?

Time skip brought to you by show week
~;~;~;~

"What about this one." James flashes his phone at me with an Amazon listing. "Quite sexy, got the collar the whole confessional thing."

"I agree but, not that one." I shook my head, shovelling some cheesy chips I to my mouth.

James rolled his eyes, "Fucking disgusting." He laughed.

"It's either this or I become an alcoholic again." I warned him.

His eyes widened in a fake shock and he picked up a handful of chips from my box and shoved them into my mouth. We both burst out laughing.

"Exactly." I grinned.

"I'm proud of you, you know what right?" His face changed to a happy but serious expression.

"Ugh don't get all sappy on me. I get enough of that from Remus."

"I know you don't like these conversations but I wanted to tell you that. You've worked so hard recently, so hard and it's payed off. I'm so so proud of you." He held both my hands. "Now what do you think of this one." He showed me another Amazon listing to quickly changed the subject as we both found "thank you's" very awkward.

I cheeky grin came to my mouth as I put down the cheesy chips, "Perfect."

Oh it was so tacky and that's what made it so perfect. Short shorts, a deep V-neck, just the guy on the listing was enough to sell it to me. It was perfect.

"Yes! That one! Order it." I insisted.

James laughed and nodded, "Fifteen quid as well, what a bargain."

"Oh that's going to be so itchy." I laughed. However my laughter soon died out as I saw Regulus coming into the chip shop.

He came up behind James, saw his screen and shook his head. "Can I talk to you outside please?" His voice was monotone and exhausted. The bags under his eyes were almost like they had been drawn on, they were so dark. His usually pristine hair was kind of messed up and a little bit greasy.

"Oh come on, my chips." I gestured to them.

"Take them with you." He picked me and chips up and began to drag me outside.

As I was being dragged James eyed me with concern.

When we were outside I laughed, "Are you going to fight me. You do know the first rule about fight club is-"

"Dad's in the hospital." He said bluntly.

My joyful expression faded, into something bored and monotone. "Okay?"

"He has been for the past two days. I've been with him." That explains the... appearance.

"What's wrong, broke his arm playing cricket or something." I tried to come up with any joke about him being a massive twat but in that moment I couldn't.

"He's dying."

"Oh."

Reggie looked away from me, "You know how much he liked a cigarette, well it finally caught up with him. And obviously as he is very stubborn he wouldn't let Mum take him to the hospital... well until it was too late. He hasn't got long." He shrugged.

"Oh."

"Are you going to come and see him?"

"Oh, I don't know if I-"

"He's your father Sirius!" He shouted before I had a chance to respond. "Why are you so selfish?"

"I didn't even say anything?!" I shouted back, gaining some glared from passers by.

"I knew what you were going to say though. 'Err maybe I shouldn't. Er no thanks', it's always about you isn't it? Never anyone else! How do you think he feels?" Regulus was scolding me like him, exactly like him, he wasn't even gone and now he was taking his place.

"Yeah? What did he ever do for us? He gave you a pen knife when you turned ten to be a 'man', that's all. He never did shit for us except hit us and tell us to stay in line." I yelled back. Two could play this game.

"Please, he wants to see you."

"And I wanted to bloody see him when he neglected us as children, life is unfair. He can die without seeing me again."

I stormed off. Maybe it was too much, maybe it was horrible but I didn't care, it was true.

I made my way to Remus' and quickly texted James explains I wouldn't be back. I approached a bin and threw my chips in there. Hesitantly I pulled out the packet of cigarettes from my pocket, I suppose it's time to quit those too. Into the bin they went.

I was angry, I was pissed and there was a bottle of vodka in that bin with a little left. I paused, no. Yes? No. Defiantly not. It was moments like these I felt most challenged, moments like this where I would down some whisky's and vodka cokes. But I couldn't let myself do this. I wasn't going to drink myself to death before my dad died.

This might never happened, my dad is not dying. Remus never has to know. I don't want the pity, I don't want the 'im sorry's, I just want life to continue as normal, as haply as I was before.

I pushed open the door and saw Remus, he looked up and smiled, "How was your time with James?"

And this was how it was supposed to be.

1238 words
Bit of a longer one to make up for  last chapter :)