The Guy Who Loves Me (The Guy Who Doesn't Like Me Book 2)

XI - A Friend

Matthew

2 days of staying here at Siargao pero gusto ko nang umuwi. Maybe I should plead for my father's approval na makabalik na sa trabaho. Since wala naman akong ibang ginagawa dito kundi magpatay ng oras, si Gabby lang ang laman ng isip ko. 2 days straight na nasa isip ko na siya. Nawala na siya sa isip ko for the past week but because of what happened sa opisina, I was forced na mag step down muna at pumunta rito sa Siargao. Maybe this is wrong. Maybe I should be back home waiting for Gabby's reply or kaya naman maybe dapat pumupunta-punta ako palagi sa office niya to see if pumapasok na siya. Baka kung ganon ang ginawa ko, baka nakapag-usap na kami. But I don't know. I should've said no to my dad and hindi sana ako pumunta rito kung iyon talaga ang gusto kong gawin.

I am a good boyfriend and alam kong hindi ako nagkulang kay Gabby. Sumobra, pwede pa pero I am certain na hindi ako nagkulang. Kaya until now, pala-isipan pa rin sakin why Gabby would just break up with me over a letter.

The Letter:

Matthew,

There's no other way I could say this but maybe this is for the best. Ayakong isipin mong hindi na kita mahal because I do. I do love you. But marrying you is not yet in my plans. Being forced to get married.... I can't do that. I wanna be married when I am ready— not because my Grandma is sick and we're running out of time. I wanted to marry you but now is not the right time. There's so much more we haven't said to each other. Matthew, I love you and I love how you take care of me. But I hate how our relationship is going. I hate our rules. I don't wanna live by rules. That's not how a proper relationship should go. If we're really meant to be together, hindi dapat tayo nagse-set ng rules sa relationship natin. Alam kong kaya mo ginawa yon ay para mas mapatibay at mapanatiling 'good' ang relationship natin. But it's not. When we have problems, no matter how busy we are at work, dapat pinag-uusapan natin. Pag-uwi or kaya naman the next day. Hindi yung maghihintay pa tayo ng weekends para mag catch up. Kapag nag-aaway tayo, if we wanna yell at each other then let it be. That's how a proper relationship would go. That's normal, Matthew. That's relationship. Kung may ayaw ka, sabihin mo. Kung may ayaw ako, sasabihin ko. Hindi yung lagi tayong nag-aadjust na lang secretly. May mga oras na gustong-gusto kitang kausapin dahil sobrang stressed at sa work pero I can't because of your rules. May mga oras na gusto kong makipagsigawan kapag nag-aaway tayo pero hindi ko magawa dahil gusto mo lahat usap. Dahil sa sobrang kagustuhan mong hindi maging toxic ang relationship natin, mas nagiging toxic. Ni hindi natin masabi sa isa't-isa kung ano ba talaga ang opinions or takes natin sa isang situation. Kasi gusto mo lagi tayong nag-aadjust nang sabay. Hindi ganon yon, Matthew. Sa kagustuhan mong maging maayos ang relationship natin, mas nasisira tayo. I want our relationship to be normal and there are times I'm trying to bring this up pero ayaw mo akong pakinggan. Dapat yung rules mo ang masusunod. Kaya instead of being free to say anything we wanna say, I tend to keep everything I wanna tell you lalo na't alam kong ang sasabihin mo lang ay, "Diba, may rule tayo.". Pero dahil nasanay na ako, I tend to just ignore it pero the time na nagpropose ka, that's the time when I had a sudden realization. Nire-ready ko yung sarili ko na magpakasal sayo when Mama Chay broke the news about her health but I just can't. Marrying you right now doesn't make any sense. Hindi pa natin kayang maging mag-asawa.

I love you, Matthew. Pero marami pa akong reason para hindi ka pakasalan. May mga reasons pa ako na hindi ko na sasabihin dito. But I hope you know na kaya ko ginawa to ay para rin sayo. Soon, you'll realize why. For now, tuldukan muna natin ang story nating dalawa. I'm sorry.

Nasakal ko ata si Gabby. Kaya ko ginawa ang rules e dahil ayaw kong madagdagan ang mga kinaka-stress niya. Yung rules na ginawa ko, when I made those, siya ang nasa isip ko. Kaya gusto ko by weekends ang catch up namin dahil may mga time na may problema kaming dalawa sa bahay and mas nasstress siya dahil marami rin siyang trabaho. Ganon din sa iba kong rules. Lahat, siya ang iniisip kong magbebenefit. I don't mind if it's 2am and all she wanna tell me is sobrang stress ng araw niya and gusto niya ng kausap. I'll wake up and listen to her. Pero gets ko naman kung bakit ganon ang sinabi ni Gabby. Maybe, mali nga talaga na maggawa ng rules. Maybe, tama ang 'what will be, will be' sa isang relationship.

"Matthew?" Napatingin ako sa nagsalita at pagtingin ko.... whatta surprise.

"Michelle!" Tumakbo siya papunta sakin and hugged me.

"So ikaw nga yung nakita ko 2 days ago!" Napatawa siya and I smiled back.

"What are you doing here?" Hindi ko siya sinagot. Instead, niyaya ko siya for lunch.

While waiting for our food, ikinuwento ko lahat ng nangyari sa kanya. She was shocked when she found out that Gabby and I are now separated. Maski sino naman talagang mas-shock. Maski nga friends ko nagri-reach out sakin pero hindi ko lang sinasagot.

"Grabe. Ang tagal niyo na. The last time na ininterview si Gabby sa isang news, she was asked kelan kayo magpapakasal and she said, 'Soon.'. Akala ko naman, totoo yon." Natawa na lang ako.

"Maybe, mali nga talaga ako. Gabby's not the kind of girl na basta-basta na lang susuko. I know her well." Natawa naman si Michelle.

"Yah, I mean noon ngang college days natin, may sakit na pala siya that time pero consistent pa rin ang paghabol niya sayo." Bigla namang nag flashback sakin ang iba't-ibang scenario when Gabby used to follow me wherever I go.

"I honestly didn't expect you na pupunta ka rito. Well, tama na rin siguro na magpahinga ka muna. Your love story with Gabby occured for 10 whole years. From 1st year college to 4th year hanggang sa magpagamot siya sa ibang bansa for 2 years and then you guys were together for 4 years. That was 10 whole years. I can't image the pain you're suffering." I nodded and napatingin na lang sa view sa labas. The restaurant is an open area and ang view mo ay ang beach.

"Maybe love's not always the answer. What else could be the reason bakit niya ako iiwan, diba?" Eto nanaman yung luha ko. Nafi-feel ko namamang napupuno ang mata ko ng mga luha. Nag segway ako ng kaunti para hindi niya mahalata dahil I will not be the guy who cries over his ex girlfriend during lunch hours.

"Maybe coming here's the answer. Dito, makakapag-isip-isip ka sa next move na gagawin mo. And for sure naman, magkakabalikan pa kayo. Kilala ko rin si Gabby. She loves you dearly." She said and I smiled and mouthed thanks.

"Ate? Sir?" Napatingin naman ako sa nagsalita and it was my secretary.

"Hey!" Nanlaki naman ang mga mata niya.

"Ate, siya ba yung—" Tinakpan naman ni Michelle ang bibig ni Issa, my secretary.

"So this is where you're originally from." Umupo naman siya sa tabi ni Michelle habang natango.

"Yung lolo po kasi namin medyo hindi maganda ang lagay kaya pinauwi po muna ako rito."

"Siya yung boss mo na sinabi mong may fiancé na maganda?" Natatawang sabi ni Michelle at tumango naman si Issa. Bigla naman siyang tinawag sa loob ng kitchen ng restau na ito. Seems like family nila ang may ari.

"Lagi ka niya saking ikinukwento. May mabait daw siyang boss na hindi siya masyadong pinapahirapan. And yung boss na yon daw ay may sobrang gandang fiancé na sobrang classy." Natawa naman ako kung paano ako dinescribe ni Issa.

"Bata pa talaga si Issa." I said.

"So, since nandito ka na rin naman, why don't you join us for dinner?" Pag-aaya ni Michelle. Umiling naman ako.

"I don't know. Maybe tomorrow? Sa ngayon, gusto ko muna magpahinga rin. Gusto ko rin magtry ng iba't-ibang gawain like cooking and pagge-general cleaning ng buong bahay without the help of anyone. You know, now that I'm alone." Pagbibiro ko at bahagya naman akong pinalo sa braso ni Michelle.

Tumayo na ako at pumunta ng cashier para magbayad, Nagi-insist pa si Michelle na wag na pero a woman treating me for a meal ain't gonna happen.

"I really enjoyed the meal. Mukhang babalik-balikan ko mga pagkain niyo rito." Sabi ko and Michelle smiled.

"I'm glad to hear that. And bukas, dito ka na mag dinner. Let's catch up more!" She cheerfully said and I nodded. Nagpaalam na ako at nagsimulanh maglakad palabas when I decided to look back.

"You know, it's glad to know I have a friend here. Someone to talk to when I don't feel like keeping everything to myself." She nodded.

"If you need me, you know where to find me."