In The Closet - Uglydolls Fanfic

4 | Skipping Class

Once again, it was my favorite time of day.
Morning.
Sun rising.
In bed.
Next to him.

I rubbed my eyes and admired him. I missed seeing his messy bed hair and peaceful sleeping stance.

I touched his face. His skin was so soft and clear. The world was gone again and it was just the two of us.
He inhaled deeply and opened his eyes. He saw me and then sighed.

"I thought it was a dream.."
He smiled and held my hand.

"Good morning, love."
I said and kissed his hand.

He smiled and rolled onto his back so he could stretch his arms without hitting me. He looked at me again and pulled me on top of him. Our bare chests pressed against each other and I realized that we only had underwear on.

He held me close and kissed my forehead.
"I missed you.."
He said quietly.

"Me too."

"Is that why you came back?"

I wasn't going to tell him that me showing up was an accident. It was a happy accident, to be honest. I kept quiet, unsure of what to say. I just wanted to stay with him.

"Nolan.. you should know that I'm still not ready yet."

Those words disappointed me.
I tried to tell myself that I could wait until he was ready. I could keep being his boyfriend behind closed doors. A part of me hated the thought.

"That's okay... I understand."

"Really?"

"I want to be with you, Lou. You make me happy. But if we're together again we have to change some things."

I got off him and sat up on my knees. He sat up as well. He seemed nervous what I would ask him.

"I really don't mind waiting. But... I need you to respect me a little more. When we're in public."

"I do respect you."

"No, I mean.. I need you to not be so mean. I get that you don't want people to know about you, but you don't have to be so cold to me. You understand?"

"I guess.."

"And I don't want you flirting with other people.. Women. Please?"

He laughed nervously.
"Nolan, you're basically asking me to come out."

"I'm just asking you to respect our relationship more."

"It's all part of the act... What does a single, straight man do? He flirts with women and he isn't friendly with gays. Everyone knows you're gay by now, it's not just a rumor anymore. Sorry, but I can't be friendly with you or that would raise suspicion."

He noticed I was losing hope in us again. He held my hand.
"I don't flirt because I want to. I don't ignore you because it's fun. I have to do it. It's an act. You know that. You're all I want. I don't need anything else."

I pulled my hand away.
I wanted nothing more than to be with him, but if things were going to be exactly like before, than I wasn't sure I wanted that.

"Don't be like that.. Nolan, I'm sorry I can't do what you're asking me."

"Can't or won't?"

He didn't answer.

"I'm so stupid to think this could work."
I mumbled. I wasnt sure if he heard me or not. My clothes were folded neatly at the edge of the bed. I grabbed them and started putting them on.

"Nolan, don't go."
He pleaded.

"If you really loved me, you would do what I'm asking. All I want is to be able to hold your hand in public. To go out on dates like a normal couple."