Understanding A Killer

Confessions

Will sipped his morning coffee with a grim look on his face, remembering last night. He thought about his blood-stained clothes waiting in the laundry, and Eliana's silent frame sitting at Hannibal's table. The black coffee looked like a dark hole, threatening to swallow him up. As of today, his kill count was 2, which seemed like too much, but too little at the same time.

He was interrupted by an engine sound pulling up by his house. He peeked through the window, instantly recognizing Eliana's car.

After last night's events, she was the last person he expected to see. He got used to the cold shoulder she gave him every time after a serious event, and after they parted in silence from Hannibal's house, he wondered how long she'd avoid him.

Yet, here she was, walking towards his door willingly, her long coat flowing with the wind.

He opened it before she had the chance to ring the doorbell, making her jump a little in surprise.

She opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by Will's distrustful tone. "You here to tell me last night you were executing some plan? Because I sure hope that's what it was."

She blinked, taken aback by sudden questions. "...No." - She took a breath, looking straight at Will. "I wasn't."

Now Will was the one that almost gasped. "Right. Then... Why were you there?"

"I'll explain. But I'd like to do it somewhere else." - She spoke with determination.

"I'm not used to you explaining yourself." - Will squinted, "So, where do you wanna go?"

"I know you're not. But go take your jacket. I'll drive."

Will agreed as curiosity scratched his brain and Eliana's yet unseen side hid behind her determined eyes.

He took his stuff and got in the passanger seat. "Now, wanna tell me what's going on?"

"Sure. Just wait a few hours." - She turned the car key. "It's saturady. Don't tell me you've got somewhere to be."

"Not really. I don't make plans often." - He sighed.

"Great!" - She smiled, looking over him, "Then get comfortable."

They drove through the state's bumpy roads while the radio filled the silence. As they passed through different towns, Will figured where they were going, still puzzled about the reason.

After a few hours, Eliana finally pulled up by a metal fence just outside town.

"We're here." - She said as she opened the car door. "You probably figured where."

"...Your hometown." - He followed her, reading the sign above the entrance which read 'Pipestone Graveyard'. "I like tourism, but I'm not so sure a graveyard would interest me."

"Don't worry, I'll take you for a coffee later." - Eliana assured.

The sky above them threatened to start pouring at any moment, and the grass beneath their feet was muddy from last night's heavy rainfall. It was a small, but well preserved graveyard with a chapel in the middle. Will read the names on the white graves as he walked, following Eliana who was searching for a specific one.

After a minute, she stopped. "Here it is." - She announced sadly.

Rosie Mills, 1991-2008

"It's... Your friend's grave." - Will assesed the obvious, "You wanted to show me this?"

"I did." - She nodded, "It's actually my first time here as well. I never visited... Didn't even come to her funeral."

"Because..." - Will continued for her.

"The first time we talked, you noticed how I avoided the truth. I tried to fool you, and I lied about my intentions. From the first moment, I tried to build our relationship on lies. Lately, it's gotten even worse." - She bit her lip, looking up at him, "Well, I'm here to finally face my lies. And to come clean. To you, and to Rosie."

Will blinked in suprise, trying to asess the unfamiliar feeling she had about her. "...The profile I made of you tells me you're unlikely to ever confess. But, I'm listening."

"I never came to Rosie's grave... Because I felt guilty." - She exhaled, then continued, "The Ripper, I mean Hannibal, killed her because I was angry at her. I resented her just because she drifted away from me. He liked my performances, and wanted to give me a gift. And when she died, I felt... Relief. Maybe I wished for her to die, and that wish killed her. So, I buried those feelings, convincing myself I needed to kill Rosie's killer. But that didn't work out, and Hannibal captured me. He said he'd keep me until I thanked him... And I did. I said it, with my whole chest. Rosie didn't deserve that."

"I do my best to empathize with killers. But... A killer was the one who empathized with you." - Will spoke slowly, finally being able to grasp Eliana's mind, "Is that why you feel a connection to him?"

"Yeah. Will, I-" - Her voice shook, "I thought about staying close to him. I thought about letting it all go, and being his friend regardless of his identity. That's why I was there yesterday. The things I buried almost made me go crazy. It was like I lost everything, my dignity, my reputation, my self integrity... He had me right in the palm of his hand, but... I'm finally awake now. Because when I saw you yesterday... You looked so..."

"What did I look like?" - Will's soft glare suddenly turned into resentment, "I looked like I enjojed killing? Is that what you're trying to say?"

"No." - Eliana shook her head, getting closer to him, "That's not what I'm trying to say."

"What, then?" - He whispered.

"I wanted to tell you that you did well." - She grabbed his jacket softly, "You did good, Will. You caught a killer no one else was able to catch. Do you know how many lives you saved? And, you protected yourself. You saved yourself, so now I can touch you like this. What you did doesn't make you bad."

"Does it make me bad if I enjoyed it?"

"Does it make me bad that I thanked a ruthless killer for killing a 17-year old?" - She put a hand on Will's cheek, "Maybe... probably, it does. But if I let it consume me, all of the good things will slip out of my hands. And that good thing is you."

Will leaned into her touch, closing his eyes for a moment. "Is it possible to close the door I've opened?"

"It is." - She nodded, "If, after I've told you the truth about me, you still don't hate me, then anything is possible."

At that moment, it was as if she stood completely naked in front of him, stripped of all the lies she used to hide behind. Her heart pounded as she waited for the anwser, ashamed and utterly vulnerable.

"I don't hate you."

Eliana smiled, tearing up as if a giant stone lifted from her chest. "Thank you. I was so scared that you would."

"You don't have to worry about that." - He pulled her into a hug, stroking her hair, "I actually like you very much. I think I made that clear long ago."

"You did." - She wrapped her arms around him, holding onto his jacket firmly. "And when we go for that coffee, I'll tell you about what I think Miriam was trying to tell me."

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Author's note: Lol ignore the geographical inconsistencies, let's pretend everything is like a few hours away. My small country brain can't comprehend how big America actually is. Other than that, I hope you enjoy:)