"for one, don't lie to me i know i may seem easy to manipulate but don't tell you feel some way about me if you really don't"
"but i do."
novalynn walker has suffered with anxiety and depression disorders since she was 10.
in and out of mental hosp...
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billie and i have been inseparable for weeks, until today. i havent heard from her since eight last night after i left her house.
we had such a great night, it was so fun and i felt so free so i dont know what changed. she hasn't answered not one of my messages and its hitting me deep.
i have finally felt some type of happiness since billie came into my life, i havent thought of cutting, burning, none of it and today my entire mood is down.
it sucks that my mood depends on how billie and i are that day, that shouldn't have to be how it is, i shouldn't have to rely on her to make me happy and thats exactly what i was afraid of.
maybe i should distance myself before it gets too hard. hurt her before she hurts me?
"are you up?" mom called from outside my door.
"yea, almost ready" i replied, pulling my shirt over my head. i took one last look in the mirror, sighing as i put on my jacket to cover my scars.
i grabbed my bag, leaving my room and going downstairs and giving mom a hug before leaving.
on the drive i played light music, humming along. as i pulled into school i noticed the car behind me, of course it was billies. i quickly pulled into my spot, putting my car into park and shutting it off.
as i got out the car billie was still parking so i rushed inside. sadly, we have first period together. the second she looks at me i will fold.
she walked in not soon after, taking her seat beside me. i glanced over at her, trying not to make it obvious that i was looking but couldn't help but turn my entire head when i noticed her face.
she looked exhausted, very dark bags beneath her eyes, she looked as if she had been crying all night.
she turned her head to face me as soon as she noticed me staring, a small fake smile appeared on her lips for a quick second. "whats wrong?" i mouthed and she shook her head, dismissing me.
towards the end of the class i had noticed she was asleep, i went to shake her awake but stopped when i noticed her hoodie sleeve up her arm and her arms covered in bandaids.
my heart broke seeing her like that, especially because i know the exact pain.
"billie, its time to go." i slightly shook her awake.
she nodded, getting up and heading for the door. "wait billie!" i called out, grabbing her upper arm. "come with me." i told her and she followed me.
i brought her to the stairs where one of the exit doors were. "come on," i went to open the door but she didnt move. "bil, come on were gonna go to my house." i told her and she sighed but then nodded, following me out the building.
