Finally Being Able To Stay Out Of Hiding

chapter 25

       Bella pov

I looked at my husband in total and absolute shock when he even confessed that to me.

I even pushed the upper half of my body up off himself with my hands and arms against his chest away from him so fast in shock like that and he grabbed my hips confused as fuck at what I did and what he felt from me through our connection.

I was just staring at him and then I tilted my head and all of sudden that memory unlocked how he actually proposed to me for the first time and then the second time.

Only my eyes moved to him as I sat on top of him letting memories fully unlocked and letting them run there course for the first time again and so clearly because my mind was erased like that and memories were unlocking like this at the right moment for me.

Only my eyes moved to what I was watching inside my mind when it played out for me like this and what I felt like at those moments.

"Holy fucking shit! You didn't even remember that because it was completely erased from your mind baby!" I nodded my head.

"You don't remember everything yet so you?" I shook my head no! "I'm so sorry I don't Edward! I wished it never happened to me like that. Not my memories of you! You were my best friend, my safe place and my husband that I loved with all my heart and soul Edward and to my mind erased like that terrified the fuck out of me! I didn't want him to find me again so I hid back at our true home and they all kept me safe but I didn't feel safe there either." I started explaining to him telling him the truth of what I really felt like going with tears going down my face.

"The lagoon was hidden so I stayed there for some odd reason and I didn't understand it and I knew to walk behind the waterfall to come back to this room. I felt safe with you but you were a male to me and well you knew exactly what males were like around me and for her to let you around her and that fucker got in my head again but you were completely erased from my head this time and I was going through those images by myself when I came back here each and every fucking time I came until all of sudden it just stopped out of nowhere. It still confuses the fuck out of me how it just stopped like that and just nothing. Poof it was just gone nothing inside my head no more!" I even closed my eyes and pointed to my head and moved my head to what I said to him.

"You don't know!" I snapped my eyes open and my husband was sitting up with his face only inches away from me and he cupped the side of my face and I leaned into his touch closing eyes because it felt so fucking safe to me.

I opened my eyes and spoke with my eyes to him.

I feel so fucking safe with you and you only Edward! From the first moment you did this for me to make sure I was alright when you first found me!

I still had tears falling. "Emmett figured out how to kill him permanently baby that's what happened and to know how you really feel about me and what you really felt like when that happened to you and the way the memories are unlocking for you like this now I fully understand the difference of showing our home that built for so you can stay out of hiding because you were always safe with me and you acted so differently when I restarted your like that when I removed that mind control chip from you. It was like walking to our second honeymoon area that night and you didn't act like that the first time. In fact you were terrified when you turned everything on the first time and you just clung to me because you were so fucking terrified and I could feel it through our connection and I was so fucking confused by this and you kept pushing me away Bella until I couldn't take it no more and I didn't even know you didn't remember because didn't even tell me because there was always someone fucking in the room with us so you had fucking hid yourself again because you couldn't fucking talk me and I fucking talk to you either. How fucked up is that Bella. It drove fucking nuts and that's why I think I had enough of you pushing me away like that because I couldn't be with you like this and we couldn't talked to each other about it and the more time that went on I just had a fucking enough with all of it because I couldn't take it no more!" He started to explain to me with tears falling from my eyes and he held up one finger for me a minute and he got on his watch.