Finally Being Able To Stay Out Of Hiding

chapter 29

       Bella pov

After we were breathing heavily trying to catch our breaths again I started laughing again.

"I just had to do it your ass. I just couldn't help myself. Where actually totally fucking alone for once and do that shit now to you when we're like this." I was still laughing.

"Oh that's so fucking both when you do that shit that to me like that though and you fucking know it Punch! No moving nothing just hit me like that and just so fucking to happen to fucking include the honey which brought it from the best friend level to also include the marriage between our asses in that shit. Fuck I love it when you do shit like that to me ohh I almost forgot your always side tracking me." My husband started laughing.

"I going to order signs that light up stay the fuck out more or less something you would say to get the point across to stay away from the fucking door because we need that time alone because we're either talking or stress relief ball or making love and we really need to be alone because they need to understand baby that they can't keep doing this to us. One you end up hiding more not from me anymore but everyone else but the thing you do to you completely stop speaking every way you do with me and then all I feel is our connection. I mean I feel what is wrong with you and I see how you hide behind me like you used to but more. I don't mind the hiding part because that's who you are but it's the way you do it sometimes when you can't talk to me and I always see you trying to figure out how the hell do I fuck do I talk to him now to many people! Then you repeat too many too many always around they will hear me! Well that's how you would move your head slowly or hit against the wall or I catch you chewing on that fucking nail. Drives me fucking insane when you do that fucking shit too." He told me.

"I understand that you couldn't talk to me and I couldn't snatch your ass up either to take your ass anywhere so we could fucking talk either and that was tearing me the fuck apart." He pulled out and slid down to the floor and one knee bent up and his hand went into his hair and his elbow was on top of his knee and I sat up and pulled my knees up and laid my head sideways on my arms that were on top of my knees just watching and listening to him.

"It frustrates the hell out of me too." He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"To be totally fucking honest with you Bella because I do need my best friend now and I need my fucking wife too but not for what you're thinking though or thinking please don't ever think that of me please I'm begging you not too because that's not what this is about!" He explained to me.

"I promise I don't think about you and I never could Edward! Well you but I understand what asking of me and trust me I get it fucking totally get it this is me were talking about and I know you Edward and you respect me to much for that." He nodded his head.

"But I can't take it anymore and this is like before I found you that's how bad it is for me right now because I wish so much I had your ability to be able to block my mind any fucking time I needed to except you Bella because I really hate being a fucking mind reader like this and no body respects my fucking ass in my family except may Rosie and my mom did and it only got worse after I found you my God that's one of the fucking reasons I would get set off so fucking easy. I can't fucking take it anymore Bella and I need you because one your my best friend and the only one that ever understood my ass and two you are the first one I've ever loved and let in and I can't fucking lose you because of this shit! I just can't. I need that touch too! No one understands that like that but you and I never told anyone but you now. I don't care about making fucking love or the fucking stress ball relief it's skin to skin contact to touch to be held for someone to actually show me love back even if we just kiss or hold each other because I never had that and you understand that the about me because it happened to you too but in so much in horrible ways that should of never happened to you but it did and still does and to know you feel safe that means the fucking world to me Bella! I can't fucking lose you." He fucking just lost it on me.