TH⁅ B@$⁅M⁅NT

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I was sitting on the stairs, my hands on my stomach as it was grumbling blaringly...ahhhhhhhhh hunger can take the whole of you!

I looked at the certain boy, sleeping peacefully with his head buried on his knees and his hands supporting them, the moon was already out; shining glisteningly, the spores and holes on its beautiful surface were visible, emerging themselves in the beauty of the moon. As the moonlight was glowing, its light rays impending inside the pitch black basement from the small hole in the walls of the basement, The boy's face was dimly visible, but i could see the tear stains on his face.

I felt like a bitch! how could i do this to him? he likes me....but he needs to understand that i am not gay!! there's no way that i can like him back...or at least that's what i think. But i still feel very bad for hurting him, i am not....homophobic; its just...

I walked up to him even i don't know why? Maybe i just wanted to say sorry to him after what i have done and said to him...the guilt was killing me inside, i could have just said that i like him back but it would be a pure lie and just to keep his heart i didn't wanted to pull a big lie which can ruin our friendship, but this also did. He do makes my flutter but there's no chance that i like a boy right? i do find him cute, attractive, and straightforward...but does that make me like him back? no, right?

"hey shivin? see i am so sorry, i was so dumb! i am so sorry whatever i said to you! I was being a bitch!! you know i really didn't mean to hurt you!" i stood in front of him with my hands in my pants pocket, i bent down a little and plucked his hair strand behind his ear and he softly murmured something which made me chuckle lightly.

"you are cute! now you are making it hard for me to say 'no' to you" i sat beside him and chuckled, eventually his head fall on my shoulder, for next 30 minutes he didn't move, he didn't murmur like he was doing before, i felt something was up.

I turned my neck and glanced at him, he was sleeping peacefully but my heart was telling me that something was wrong.

"hey shivin" I straightened my position, holding his head in my palm, i slightly shook him but he didn't even opened his eyes, i did it again and again there was no response, i sat up and looked at him, i put my fingers under his nose to know that if he alive or....dead? his breath was slow and unsteady.

"oh no no no!" i exclaimed and hurried gave him a piggy back ride to the plank, i lay him there. I knew the problem...it was hunger. Its impossible for a person to survive 3 weeks without food, but a person who is as fragile as him, it is impossible for them to survive even 2 weeks without...I was not fragile, i was not like him, i was still energetic but ravenous, but with that body of his, he is not going to survive even a day without food, plus he was burning like a sun, his body temperature increased gradually while mine decreased.

I immediately ran towards his backpack and pulled out that leftover packet of biscuits, only 4 were left it had 8 biscuits in it but we ate 4 already, i still had half of the water left in that 1litre water bottle.

"okay shivin, can you hear me? i will not let you die!" i reassured him hoping that he would hear it, hey i am not that bad, after rejecting him like a shit, i myself is feeling like a shit, now i will do everything to save him not let him starve to death.

After feeding him everything which was left, i slowly opened his shirt because as i mentioned before, his body was burning. Now he was just in his sando, woah! he was so skinny and i am damn sure that he must have lost his 4-6 kg weight in this hell.

His body was flawlessly curved and his milk white skin was shining in the dim moonlight, his collarbone was clearly visible, and he was wearing a thin silver chain in his neck. I torn another big piece from my shirt, i swear if he keeps getting sick then i would left with nothing other than the collars of my shirt....my shirt was already now half torn. I drenched it into the rainwater spilt on the floor, it was dirty but useable, i swept his whole body but didn't open his pants, and just crawled up his pants to wipe...it was cold water so i guess it helped, i kept it on his forehead after.

Ofc we both were in really bad condition, we had big eyebags under our eyes, dirty skin, torn clothes, and we were smelling like fishes...we both grew more thinner, i swear i will feed this man tons of food as soon as we got out.

"hey shivin please wake up! your scaring the hell out of me!" i said with concern, as despite doing everything i can, he was still unconscious which was scaring me so much that what if he starved to....death? no NO NO!!!! THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!! HE IS STILL BREATHING!!, i reassured myself but i knew somewhere it could be true.

***

"shivin please wake up! pl-please!! i swear i will never ever b-bully you or u-use you again, i was such a d-dumb person, i will always take care of y-you like MY WHOLE LIFE!! i will be there whenever you will n-need me, just do me a favour please w-wake up!" its been 4 hours, and he still haven't shown any sign of waking up, the sun was rising but not him, why?! why not him?!, It is scaring the hell out of me! i miss him, i miss him soo much!!!!

"I HAVE FREAKING NOTHING TO FEED YOU!!!!!!" I cried and tears slowly began flowing down my cheeks, i realised how much i cherish this boy, one day without him feels like i am the most alone person in this world, he was healing me...he was healing my nightmares! since the day i start sleeping with him, my nightmares stopped instead i have beautiful dreams like i am in a garden with my mom and all the beautiful memories were coming back to me. He was an angel to me yet i still despised him.

"i swear i am gonna give you a severe punishment for scaring me enough, but p-please just w-wake u-up once" i stuttered and hold his hand as tightly as i could, i now realised his importance, how much he meant to me....

After 1 hours of sobbing and yelling at the corpse, i sat beside him, held his hand and slept there, i had no energy left to yell anymore.

hunger can take the best of you...