champagne problems

9

Now the rain is just washing you out of my hair and out of my mind

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"Engfa? What are you doing here?"

The question lingered inside her head for a moment, she was unable to utter a single word. She was utterly speechless, her eyes were focused on the sight before her, the sight she had longed to see for quite some time now.

And now, there she was, standing in front of her. Looking so utterly beautiful, her brows furrowed with confusion, but in her eyes, she could see a a twist of sadness in them, which ignited a tiny, little hope within Engfa that perhaps... perhaps this could still be saved.

The bunny in Charlotte's arms moved, struggling to breakaway from the younger woman's grasp. Engfa's eyes went down to look at the little bunny, before looking up once again in Charlotte's eyes.

"Hi," she said, almost breathless. She forced herself to flash a small smile, "I-I came here to see you," Engfa said with honesty despite her trembling voice.

Engfa's eyes were full of hope as she looked at Charlotte's confused one. The silence of the hallway now filled with the muffled sound of rain pouring on the concrete pavement six floors down below. The sound brought a sense of comfort to Engfa, something she could focus on other than the expression of uncertain that was slowly showing up on Charlotte's beautiful face.

The younger woman's face suddenly contorted into something unreadable. One which was devoid of any emotion. And Engfa felt a gnawing feeling inside here, one of fear and anxiousness.

"Engfa... you shouldn't be here." Charlotte said, her voice devoid of emotion. Her tone sent a shiver up and down Engfa's spine.

How could Charlotte, the Charlotte she knew since they were 15, were suddenly capable of sounding so cold and distant?

Engfa's smiled had faltered instantly upon hearing Charlotte's voice. She watched as Charlotte went to shook her head with disbelief visible in her face. A pang of fear went to fill every fiber of Engfa's being upon seeing that expression from Charlotte. Why?

"Go back to Camden, Engfa." came the cold, emotionless voice of Charlotte once again, one that would definitely haunt Engfa's consciousness as long as she lives.

"But-I came here to see you, Char. Why are you saying that?" Engfa's voice was almost a whisper, but due to the silence that had enveloped them, Charlotte was still able to hear it.

"And I am saying that you shouldn't have. I told you, we're done, Engfa. If you're trying to convince me to go back to Camden, you're just wasting your time." Charlotte's once emotionless voice, now came with a hint of anger within it. She was staring at Engfa with grave intensity that she could easily bore a hole on the older woman's face.

"I am not trying to convince you to go back." Engfa said, her voice only above whisper. "I came here because I wanted to see you,"

A single tear fell from Engfa's right eye, that was followed by some more as she cried. A familiar clench in her chest was now present, and the aching that came with in were numbing her whole being.

So, Charlotte didn't want to see her.

"Go home, Engfa." for a moment, Charlotte's voice carried a hint of sympathy and softness, but she masked in swiftly before Engfa could react. "And don't ever come back here."

Engfa's world were shattered by Charlotte once again. She could feel her knees buckling as she heard those hurtful words escape the lips of Charlotte. The lips that once whispered her the words I love you. The lips that she didn't know was capable of uttering such heart shattering words. The lips that would haunt every fiber of her being. The lips the she was sure won't ever touch hers again.

How did they got here? They were so in love once. What happened to them?

Engfa had mustered her courage, and dared to confront Charlotte for the first time. She demanded answers, and she believed she was entitled to ask.

"What happened to you, Charlotte?" she asked as her tears continued to flow from her blood-shot eyes. "You're going to throw everything we had just like that? How could you do that so easily?"

"Engfa, I have no time for this. Please," Charlotte pleaded, her voice still devoid of emotion. She went to put down the bunny in her arms inside her apartment before she shut the door closed and went to face Engfa once again.

"I just want some answers. How could you do this easily? Don't you love me anymore, Charlotte?" Engfa asked, willing herself to stay strong as she readied herself for Charlotte's answer.

"I want to chase my dream -"

"Fuck that! This isn't about your dreams anymore!" Engfa shouted as she was completely swallowed by her frustration. She ran her hands through her hair as she sighed heavily, trying to calm her heart down. "If it was about your dreams, then why do you need to leave me behind? Am I not part of your dreams, Charlotte? Am I not a part of your future? Where do I stand in your life?" Engfa was out of breath as she tried to say those words in one blow. "Answer me!" she shouted as she grabbed both of Charlotte's shoulders, demanding for an answer.

Charlotte was now crying just like her. And for a moment, she was speechless. Engfa's eyes remained on her as she waited for the younger woman to speak up. But she got nothing.

"Why won't you answer me?" Engfa asked, her voice now back in a whisper. "At least give me some closure, Char. I want my peace, too." she pleaded, but still, Charlotte said nothing.

A new set of tears occupied Engfa's eyes that added up to the waterfalls that had formed in her tears-stained cheeks. She was hurting so bad, it was almost unbearable.

"I didn't know you're capable of being so cruel." she whispered as she took a step back away from Charlotte.

Charlotte's lips opened, as if she wanted to say something, but it went closed once again as she was unable to form a word. She didn't know what to say to ease Engfa's pain, as she knew all of the words that would come out from her mouth would only worsen the pain of the older woman. So she remained silent, drowning with her own pain and sorrow while watching Engfa do the same.

Engfa took another step back away from Charlotte, as she desperately wiped her tears. "Don't worry, you won't see me again in here." Engfa turned around and started walking away, when Charlotte's voice reverberated from the silence of the hallway.

"Bee," came the trembling voice of Charlotte. The term of endearment sounded so foreign from Engfa's ears. And the feeling of love that was used to occupy her as she hears that word, now replaced with extreme heartache that she could barely tolerate. "I'm sorry,"

"I came here to chase my dreams, Char. I finally got myself a record company that would willingly help me produce my songs. Beside that, I came here to see you." Engfa said, her back was still facing Charlotte. "I understand that you don't want to see my face again, but that would be hard to do now that I will be living here in New York from now on. But don't worry, I will try my best not to cross paths with you anymore."

"Goodbye, Charlotte." and Engfa walked away from Charlotte, she walked away, bearing her broken-heart and shattered soul in her shoulder. She walked away with a promise of never going back anymore. It's time for her to go.