Obsessive Control ( Under publishing contract )

Nobody 6%

"Obsession distorts perfection, disguising chaos as an ideal world."

Surrounded. I've always been surrounded by love, maybe even a little too much. Mother loved me so much that the only name she could think of to define that love was "Lov". The others at the orphanage were even jealous.

Love? What exactly is love? How can we know that the feelings shared by those around us are really love? 

Is it love to be kind, to give attention, to be compassionate, or to die in the place of a loved one?

I've often observed people, especially the way they talk.

"If you do this for me, I'll be happier."

Pure manipulation.

"There's only you in my eyes, if you die, I'll never get over it."

Abominable lie.

"I'll give my life to protect you."

Pitiful pride.

Man will do anything to get what he wants, he'll manipulate, lie, show ego and pride to get what he wants. Love brings all these things together; love is stifling, hurtful, and is only given to those who deserve it. Being Loved by a mother is sometimes too oppressive, being overprotected barely able to keep one's head above water.

Disobeying the rules is synonymous with branded violence.

"Lov, come back here, you're too young to swim in this lake."

"No, Mother. Nov went him,"

"You can't swim like Nov. Come back!"

Mother didn't know how to let go. She compromised everything I did to set myself apart from my brother. Nov was never reproachful about anything he said or did, whereas for my part, Mother insisted that nothing should happen to me, even if it meant shutting me up in a bubble that only she could control. Mother bitch, suffocating you would have been the best decision of my life.

I'd like a world where we could express our wildest desires, the ones we could never really put into words: murder, kidnapping, violence, torture, abuse. I think about it sometimes... often. Just a world tinged with black and gray stained with red.  "Lov Braham's world, where love has no place, ever!

Only nothingness, destruction and bruised desires would be accepted. Pain would be the gentle melody that would set the rhythm of "My World".

I start with this idea in mind, telling myself that if what betrayed me has given me nothing but reasons to follow the path I'm on, there's no way I can stop there. Aris is the one who will fill this void and this desire to feel legitimate in my actions, to ensure my obsession with control. I know deep down that I can only escape her, that I can only melt into her. To possess her and make her what's missing from my existence. The days will go by and she'll come to understand that she has no choice but to follow the pace, MY pace...