Stuck on the puzzle

Don't you worry, child...

"God damn it, Alex, you're gonna get us killed."

After some more making out on the bench outside, he decided to pick me and Ben up and take us to my flat. I was clinging to his neck while he pressed the elevator's button. Ben was cuddled between us, staying frozen in the little space between our chests. Imagine how close me and Alex were. Now, it's not a big deal anymore. We made out. What was in my head?! What is in my head?!

"I may be a bit sober, but I would never drop you. How can I...? Phoebe, why don't you have a boyfriend?"

He starts kissing me again, slower now, sending shivers through my entire body. Even if I hate the overall message of the movie, I have to say that we looked as if we were in some sort of version of 50 Shades of Grey. More like 50 Shades of Alex and a dog.

"I haven't met too many boys that I would like me back as well. They would give up on me anyway when they heard that I love reading."

"They are no smart guys."

He kept kissing me, interrupting from time to time to smile and look carefully into my eyes.

"God, I won't see these eyes again."

At that exact moment, he reached my door and I started fumbling for my keys in my back pocket but Alex was way more effective. He stuck his hand in my back jeans pocket, pulled out the keys, kicked the door with his back to close it, locked it(all that while holding me in his arms) and started to my bedroom. Right before closing the door shut, he picked Ben up and left him on the hallway.

"I have... Never done this before..." I say, as he gently put me on the bed, staying on top of me.

"You're a virgin?.." He asks, sounding surprised.

"Yeah, kill me for that..." I say, chuckling.

I start to move my hands under his T-Shirt, as he starts moving his fingers under my sweater as well. As I move the tips of my fingers down his chest, taking his shirt off, I feel his six-pack tensing and relaxing, in rhythm with our breaths.

"Hunny, we can stop if you don't want to do it now..." he whispers, sucking at the skin of my collar bones.

"For fuck's sake... I think I love you."

He suddenly stops up-lifting my sweater, letting it reveal just a bit of my bra, looks me in the eye and kisses me gently, as a goodbye kiss would probably feel.

"I want to do it. Just... Make sure the con.." I start, but he cuts me off.

"Don't worry, I got it."

He continues with all that prelude thing you see in movies(unfortunately, both romantic and porn movies). God, he was great. I started to feel guilty, eventually. I was almost 16. Alex was my first... one. Is it wrong? I mean, he's going to leave. I might only see him in pictures and on the internet. If we do this now, what will be next? He will have to leave... What am I thinking? Why do I care so much, anyway? We barely know each other, I shouldn't care that much. Ugh.. I love him, I suppose. But we've known each other for a day. It's love at first sight, I reckon? Only Haley believes in that.. She says that her and Dylan "fell in love at first sight". But, I wonder... If I love Alex, does he love me too? He might be just acting so well, so that he convinces me to have sex with him. For God's sake... What if things really are like that?

"Hunny, is everything ok?"

"Yes... Yes."

I said those two syllables so insecurely that he stopped his kissing to look at me, raising an eyebrow, giving me a questioning look.