Stuck on the puzzle

Forgive us

My dearest Phoebe,

Please forgive us for our coward way of facing our own selves. I know you'd tell us: Suicide is not a solution, we can figure it out, we'll find a way, I'll help. But, unfortunately, that's it for us. I am sorry, really. I can't explain it. Please don't blame yourself, it's not your fault. You are the best person anyone could ever meet. You are my daughter and I am proud of you. You are a fighter, dear. You've always been so independent and adventurous. You've always looked for an alternative, you've always found your inner peace in the nicest of things. Please don't change that. That is one of the most beautiful and inspiring things at you. Keep reading, keep discovering, keep laughing, keep loving, keep smiling, keep seeing the rainbow in the darkest of colors. Keep holding your head up no matter what because you have so many reasons to be proud of who you are. Keep fighting for your dream, keep aiming higher. Don't ever believe that you've lost the happiness. Happiness can be found in the darkest of places, if only one remembers to turn the light on, as Dumbledore used to say. Carry on with your life, Phoebe. Turn the page, write a new chapter. I know you are good at that, my precious writer. Also, I read your book. I knew that you would reach your dream. I love you. And I know you're probably wondering: If you loved me, why'd you leave me? We don't want to leave you, darling. We want to leave our own selves. I am sure you understand that, because you are a writer and writers understand the saddest and rarest of feelings. Always be thankful for the life you live, even if you sometimes slip and fall. The rise is always the one of a more powerful version of yourself. Cherish every moment you live with the ones you love, always be there for them. You will make it without us, too. I know you are crying. I won't tell you to stop, because it's impossible for now. Take your time with your sorrow, but don't let it overwhelm you. We are only humans and we would have died anyway, sooner or later. I am sorry we had to do it ourselves, making you suffer more. Also, I am sorry for not being able to tell you all these sentimentalisms face to face or for not giving you one last hug. I will miss your way of seeing things, I will miss our memories as a family, I will miss your never ending speeches about books. I will miss you.

Your humble father,
A. P.

Phoebe darling,

I can not write you without needing to wipe my tears away. I know you are probably crying. You might be in Ireland, you might be in our living room, you might be in your room, you might be in Alex's arms... Wherever you are, please, don't forget that I love you. I love you a lot, sweetheart. Don't ever doubt that. You are a loved child. Our decision has nothing to do with you. It's simply about our own selves. Selfish, of course, I can't deny. But I know you understand.
Please carry on with being your self. Suffering is normal, but don't let it change you. I know you don't like that book anymore, but this sentence from it is very true: Grief does not change you, it reveals you. Learn something from everything that happens to you, whether it's good or bad.
Your father and I have a bank account on your name. You have there enough money to get through high school. The files for the account are in our bedroom wardrobe. I am sorry, we couldn't spare for university, but we know you would have probably refused our financial support on the premise that you can get a job and so on. You've always been like that.
You are not alone, sweetheart. You have a family of your own. You have Alex, Isaac, Dylan, Haley, Thalia... These are people who love you and care about you. Alex is a wonderful person, Phoebe. Trust me. Him being a rock star with money, fame and opportunities doesn't change his soul. And his soul is just like yours. He will never leave you, even if things will seem difficult to get over between the two of you. How do I know? Just trust me on this. I am glad we are at least able to leave you in a safe situation. We don't worry at all about your future. It will be one full of beauty, mysteries, satisfaction and happiness. I am sorry for making you suffer. It won't last forever, I promise. I love you.