Stuck on the puzzle

Your mother's eyes

Phoebe's perspective

I wish I had no one.

So that nobody would hurt over me.

It's horrible. Seeing the people you love cry over you. I've never seen Alex cry before. And the fact that he's crying over my horrible state... It's making me feel awful.

That night, I woke up about 20 seconds before paralyzing. I noticed he wasn't next to me. I figured he was probably smoking. I've never felt like that during any crisis I've had. This time, I felt my heart freeze. I simply felt my chest go cold. I managed to shout for Alex, but I wasn't even sure he got to me. I collapsed, trying to breathe. This time, it was real. I couldn't breathe anymore. I remember Isaac saying once that if I am alive, it means I can breathe and that I only have the impression I can't breathe. I really couldn't breathe then. I was dying.

I opened my eyes to find myself at the hospital, surrounded by doctors and nurses. They told me nothing and just left the room. Soon, Alex entered. His eyes were red and puffy and he held my hand in his.

When I told him I want him to live his life and have a family even if I die, he almost broke down. I would have hugged him and held him in my arms if my cannula and the stitches that ended in my veins hadn't refrained me. Al... How much I love you, Alexander.

The next to come was Isaac.

"Hey Phoebs, how are you feelin'?" He whispered, trying to smile.

"What are you doing here... The French olympics are today..."

"I don't care, darling. I will be there, don't you worry..."

"Please go... You'll be great. Please, please go... Promise me you will..."

"Ok, I promise."

He took my pinky and entwined it with his and so we made our promise.

"Isaac, thank you so much for being my best friend.."

"Phoebs, you don't have to thank me... I am glad I am your best friend. And I will, because you'll be just fine."

"Isaac, I'll have to admit... Sky's a fine girl... I'm glad you've found her.. I ship you two."

"I knew it." He smiles, squeezing my hand.

We talked some more and than Haley came in. She came in holding back tears, but when she saw me, she started crying.

"Am I really looking that bad...?" I ask, reaching for her hand.

"No, Phoebe, it's just..."

"Don't worry, Haley... It's ok."

She bent her head to my hand. Her temple was trembling against my knuckles.

"I thought I'd never see you cry." I whisper, gathering enough air. She lifts her gaze and gives me a smile through the tears. "I never thought you'd be the one to become my best girl friend."

"Thanks, Phoebe.... I've learnt so many things from you." She wipes her tears away, her mascara staining the back of her hands.

"Lioness... Please make sure everyone's living their lives properly. Including you."

"How can you say that... You won't die!"

"In case I die, I am letting you know."

"Stop bullshitting me." She giggles, punching my shoulder very slowly, making me smile.

"I am sorry I am the reason of your tears."

"No, Phoebe. Don't worry. I will see you later, ok? Bye baby girl." She puts her hands on my cheeks and caresses them lightly. I nod and afterwards, Dylan comes in.