Stuck on the puzzle

Don't cry, okay?

A strong knock on the door urged me to get up from the cold bathroom tiles and open.

"Phoebs, don't cry, okay? Phoebe..." Isaac starts comforting me as he sees me struggling to fight back the tears. He takes me into his arms and pets me gently on the back as I hiccup and burry my eyes in his shoulder.

"Phoebe, if you have a baby you can have an abortion. I will come with you if you need me. I don't mind. Things will be ok, trust me. So many women have abortions nowadays and carry on with their lives..."

Isaac kept saying things about abortions that only made me feel worse and worse. If I had a child, how could I end its life just because I am irresponsible and dumb? And because a dumb ass might have not put the condom properly? I wouldn't forgive myself for doing such a thing. However, Isaac was only trying to be helpful so as he held me in his arms, I didn't speak at all, not even objecting his abortion idea. I think I am too tired and too sick to object anything. I just want to do that pregnancy test.

"Isaac.. How much do I owe you?" I ask him, picking up the rectangular box from his hand.

"3, darling. I don't give a damn, don't worry."

Before going into the bathroom, I took Isaac into the living room and told him to make comfy, went to my desk and opened a drawer. I took a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. I think I was becoming addicted again. As I stepped out from the living room, cigarette in mouth, lighter prepared, Isaac scoffed at me:

"You used to smoke the first year, didn't you? The first year in Ireland, you used to smoke. But you quit. Don't start smoking again, please..."

"If I have a baby, I won't smoke. And yes, I did smoke. A lot. But I feel the need to smoke a ciggie now."

Closing the door behind me, I followed the instructions. So I found myself peeing on the little screen plastic stick that was to decide my future. They said wait about 5 minutes. So I waited.

"Isaac!" I called, as if waking up from a spell.

"YES, I AM HERE. ARE YOU OK?"

Throwing the cigarette on the little bathroom window, picking up the stick and its rectangular box, I opened the door to find a tensed Isaac, who had, for the first time in forever, a very serious look.

"Shall I call Mtv for a new volunteer at 16& Pregnant?"

"NOT TODAY!!!"

"YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT.."

"I HAVE NO BABY, ISAAC, I HAVE NO BABY!!!"

We started laughing like two idiots and I even started crying tears of joy. Phew, that's one real relief. Why did I throw up, than? I think I ate something... Oh, yeah, some old milk I had around in my fridge.

"I am profoundly shaken." Isaac says, quitting laughing.

"Well, than I shall tell you the whole shit, now..."

I made some Sheffield tea I had from my parents when I visited them in winter and than we sat on the couch. After about 15 minutes of talking, Isaac finally interrupts me with a question.

"So, basically, Alex Turner fell in love with you?"

"Well, yes..."

He smiled as if he knew something I didn't.

"What?"

"He used to have a minor crush on you when we were kids, too."

"I will have to question that as well, but I have two short things to say and than you will be the one telling the story. So, he went at Radio 5 and sang something and dedicated a song to, I quote, "a little Mardy Bum I appreciate a lot". And he asked me out live. We were supposed to go at Submarine, a movie whose soundtrack is his creation. And than I bumped into him later that day and he was sober and he was very cheeky and we eventually started making out and... Yeah.. In the morning, he explained me that his manager had been told that Alex had to be back in London as soon as possible because they were having trouble with the soundtrack and they needed him to write another song until Friday, when the movie would be launched. He told me the manager cancelled the rest of the tour in Ireland without asking him and he said how he argued with the manager because he wasn't allowed to see anyone from Ireland because his life was in London. He was leaving in five hours."