Corrupt

Chapter 20

It feels odd not to knock on the door of the King's chambers. As the guards move aside to allow me entry, I clasp my hands behind my back, unable to stop their shaking. 

"Nikolas?" I call out as I enter the room. He's there, of course, watching me with a slight smile on his face.

"Lynette. It's good to see you."

"And you," I say politely, walking to stand before him. He's so much taller than me. Just another way he has the upper ground. "Well, Nikolas, I really... I really wasn't expecting this. Honestly." 

"I hardly think there was anybody else I could choose," he chuckles. "The whole of Carcaseau knows you're the best around here. And we need our Queen to be the best. You're smart, hard-working, kind..." Naive. Peaceful. Submissive. 

Gently, he brushes a stray ringlet of hair from my eyes, warm fingertips grazing my skin. There is none of the blistering heat I usually feel at his touch. He thinks he has me; I've convinced him I'm no danger. Relief washes over me as I smile shyly, meeting his dark eyes. If I focus hard enough, I can pretend they're Daeva's. 

"So.... What happens now?" I ask softly, placing a hand atop his. We are closer than ever, and yet... No stirring in my chest, no fluttering of my heart. 

"I've requested our wedding to take place in a week. If that's okay, of course."

"Of course," I echo. It is now that my heart flutters violently; perhaps it's more pain than joy. 

"And you'll be relocated to these chambers. I've already had your things moved." 

Gasping, I fight to keep my smile as my stomach lurches. Now I am truly trapped: a bird enclosed in a gilded cage. There will be no escape without his immediate knowledge. I'll hardly have the chance to speak to Drea. Despite the King's breath tickling my skin, the closeness of our proximity, I have never felt more alone.

"How... Wonderful," I croak.

"Is something wrong?" I can almost feel his demeanour shift, the barriers reemerging as his brow furrows.

"No, I..." I hesitate, scrabbling for purchase. "I just... It's all happening so fast. I never expected this."

"I see," he responds, softening again. I'm getting better at this game, but I must not forget to play. An arm encircles my back in what should be a loving embrace, but feels more like a snake coiling its prey, squeezing the air from its lungs. Blinking furiously, I battle the tears from my eyes.

I can't stay here. I can't. 

There is no love in my heart for this man, only a toxic bile of fearful anger. My best friend, the only person I can trust, is trapped beyond reach. I am enclosed in a prison, a mouse against an eagle, where the kill is determined by which one of us falters first. I have faltered already, too many times to count.

He can't know.

"May I see my room?" I say, clawing for a distraction from my tearing eyes.

"Of course." Taking my hand, he leads me up a set of stairs to a door. When I open it, I am greeted by a space that looks almost identical to my old room, but amplified; every surface shines a little more, every fabric a little softer. Built into the right wall, another door, the polished handle gleaming. I know without asking that it connects to his. Any other castle girl would squeal at the opportunity, but I can hardly summon the energy to even smile. 

"Thank you," I murmur, swallowing down the lump rising in my throat. 

Not for the first time, I wish I could just go back to before, when I knew nothing. 

Now I know far, far too much. 

And there's no going back.