Corrupt

Chapter 24

"I can't," I whisper. The words are almost an order to myself, a reminder: I cannot follow my heart again. My heart has been wrong too many times. I can't stay with them.

"Why?" Daeva responds, an edge of pain in their cool tone.

"I..." I squeeze my eyes shut, imagine myself locking my emotions away, chaining them back. "I just can't."

"You don't love him."

"I- What does that have to do with anything?"

"If you loved him, you'd want to go back. But you don't. He doesn't love you." There is no emotion in their voice. I envy it. 

"He-"

"He doesn't, Lynette. You know it. You know he's lying to you."

"That doesn't matter," I choke out. "I don't have a choice, Daeva. You know that better than anyone. He'll find me. He might... He might kill me. You need somebody to watch him. I'm that somebody."

A hush descends like a barricade between us, broken only by Daeva's sigh. 

"We'd look after you. The best we could. I know it's... I know it's not much, but we'd do our best, I'd make them-"

"You know it's not about that."

"I don't, actually," they reply, folding their arms, turning away. If I didn't know better, I'd ask them about the slight silvery shimmer of their eyes.

"It's not, Daeva. You know how much I- You know how scared I am. I'd stay with you if I could. But... I can't."

No response. I ignore the slight tremor of their shoulders. 

"I'd keep you safe here."

"That's what he says, too."

"I mean it," they say simply.

"I have people that I need to keep safe." I wish Drea could help me here. 

"What do you mean?" Daeva frowns, turning around to face me, steel-faced once again.

Oops.

"I... I told someone. I had to."

"Why the fuck," they whisper. "Did you do that?"

"I had to. I couldn't-"

"Lynette." I silence at their frosty glare. They take a slow breath, recomposing. "Fuck's sake! I thought I could- Lynette, do you even realise how important this is? So many people have died for this, so many people have lost something for this. You can't just go around fucking telling everyone-"

"I didn't tell everyone!"

"You don't even... That's another person that could betray us. That's another person that could ruin everything."

"No, she wouldn't, she-"

"That's what we always think!" they interrupt, anger blazing in their eyes, unable to be quenched. "But do you know?" 

I fall silent, watching the rapid rise and fall of their shoulders, the fury etched into their face. They raise a clenched fist, and, despite myself, I flinch. Ever so slightly. Daeva's expression melts into a sympathy I've never seen before.

"Lynette, I-"

"I know her. Okay? Just... Will you just trust me?"

"I do trust you." 

I raise an eyebrow, letting a tear roll down my face, trying to ignore the trembling of my lips. Daeva shifts under my glare, the rage gradually dissipating from their gaze.

"I... I don't really do trust," they admit. "But if I did, I'd trust you."

"But you don't," I whisper. The lack of response is all the confirmation I need. I sigh.

Somewhere in the distance, a shout rings out, almost instantaneously cut off. A cacophony of shrieks echo in response, gradually fading away. A haunted look passes across Daeva's mask. 

"They'd only been out ten minutes," they mumble, almost to themselves. I swallow the bile rising in my throat.

Cautiously, I place a gentle hand on their shoulder. They stare at it like an enemy, stiffening beneath my fingertips. 

"I can't stay here. I... I wish I could. But I need to help you. And the best way I can do that is to be with him. To marry him. So I will." 

"Lynette, I-"

"No. No. Don't try to convince me. You know I'm right. If you try and convince me, I might listen."

"Is that a threat?" they ask, eyebrows raising.

"I don't know. Maybe."

Like a spring blossom, a gentle smile blooms across their face. 

"I need to go now. Before he... I don't know." 

The blossom withers.

A crazy thought appears in my mind, and before I have time to process what I'm about to do, my lips are pressed gently to their cheek. Not even that concrete mask can camouflage the pure shock that overtakes their eyes. I stare into them for a quiet moment, just looking, memorising the details, and then I turn before I get any more crazy ideas, putting space between us.

"Goodbye. I'll do my best." 

A few paces from the room, I find the woman I remember to be Quinn, carrying a small crate.

"Take me to Carcaseau," I tell her.

"You only just got here," she replies smoothly, placing the crate against the wall.

"Take me back." I say through gritted teeth.

"How do you know I know the way?" she smirks. I forgot that everybody here has a huge ego.

"Just take me back."

"Problems with Daeva?"

I don't respond.

"Tell me, and I'll take you home," she grins.

Carcaseau's not my home. I bite back the reply. I have no justification. 

"Take me back, and I'll tell you." 

"Alright. Damn," she laughs softly. "Come on, then."