Corrupt

Chapter 29

Nikolas half-drags me to our chambers before I can speak. Of course, he has to keep his perfect image, whatever happens. I wonder how we must look - a perfectly dignified king with a struggling, manic, feral beast of a queen in his arms. I am unravelling by the second, like a thread being tugged from a once-perfect tapestry, my confusion and guilt and grief all boiling down to just one thing: all-consuming rage.

We sit down on the bed. He looks at me.

"What on earth happened to you? You're a state."

"Oh, I am," I reply. "And a spy. Or I was." 

"You- What? No."

"Yes. A spy for Daeva Korren themself," I grin. Saying it feels so good. I've shown both of them that I cannot be controlled.

The satisfaction lasts less than a second.

Suddenly, I am beneath him, his strong hand pushing against my neck, a sword grabbed from the table pressed to my skin. I gasp. How could I have been so stupid?

"Nikolas, wait," I wheeze frantically, wriggling my hands to clutch desperately at his. 

He will always be more powerful. I need to be more careful. I can't die now.

"You were a spy? For Daeva? I knew it! I knew it." My neck burns with his fire, agony spreading through my body. Everything goes fuzzy, and I fight to cling to consciousness. 

"Listen to me-" I shriek.

"A spy. A spy, right under my nose. How long have you been-"

"Listen," I scream, and he falls silent, fury still burning like a wildfire in his eyes. "I will tell you everything. Because I don't work for them anymore. I'm yours." Slowly, he lifts the blade. "I'm all yours. Okay? I will tell you everything."

He replaces the sword and gestures for me to begin. I push myself gently off the bed, as though I wasn't on the edge of death a second ago.  

"It was when I was kidnapped. Back at Eskalis. Daeva took me, and... Well, I... They told me things I'd never expected. I know you're siblings," I tell him, validated by the shock that flickers in his eyes. "And they... Well, I don't know which parts were true. But I was stupid. I believed everything. So when they asked me..." 

"You decided to recklessly believe them and put the entire castle's peace - everything I've created - in danger." 

"Yes. I'm sorry." The weight of it has tears flooding my vision. "I sent them notes that let them in on your plans. But I was so stricken with the guilt of it, because... Because I loved you, and I just couldn't... So I told Andrea everything." A jolt of recognition flashes in his expression, quickly stifled. "I didn't... I didn't know they'd... Kill her."

"Lynette, this is what I've always taught you. The rebels... They're evil. Pure evil. I tried to warn you." There is true remorse in his words, and I find myself flinching at them, because he's right. I've always been told stories of the cruelty of Daeva Korren. I can't believe my idiocy. "I love you, Lynette, and you've been behind my back this whole time. Do you really want me dead? After everything?"

"I know. I'm so sorry. And... I do love you." 

"I'd keep you safe, Lynette Answatch. I'd protect you with my dying breath."

Shut up, I tell them.

"You love me? Lynette, you're a traitor. A naive little traitor, who could've destroyed Carcaseau."

"I'm sorry," I whisper through my tears. The anger doesn't leave his face. I push myself upwards to press a desperate kiss to his lips, a plea for forgiveness. "But.. I have information that you'll like." 

"What is it?"

"I know where they are." 

"You know where they are? How long have you known? I've had my forces searching for so long... And you knew this whole time?" he seethes. I've never seen him like this before. 

"I've apologised. I know I was- I am wrong. I'm foolish, and stupid. I'm so sorry. But you need to listen to me now. They're outside."

"They're outside?"

"They're in the trees. The Lazifi attacked them. They're weak now. Daeva is there too."

I look into his eyes, and they're Daeva's eyes, and I can see their beautiful face, and I can feel their lips on mine, and I can hear the lies tumbling from those lips, and...

"You could kill them," I suggest. My soul breaks as I say it. But I'm done with being lied to.  

"They're outside?" he repeats.

"They're outside."

"Then I will kill them. They will pay, Lynette. You don't have to worry about that. I'll make them beg for mercy." 

It's those words that make me realise the weight of what I've just done.

I've just signed the death warrants of every rebel. 

"You know he's lied to you before, Lynette. You know he's lying."

Shit. 

He's already on his feet, already opening the door. He's waited for this for so long, I realise with a jolt. He'll kill them. He'll kill them all, with a smile on his face. And he'll be praised for it.

This is wrong. This is wrong. I've made a mistake.

"Wait, Nikolas," I stutter. 

There's a key in his hand. No.

"Thank you, Lynette. You've told me all I need to know." 

"Nikolas-"

"So I'll just go and sort that out, shall I? You stay here. It's far too dangerous out there for a reckless little girl." 

"Nikolas, no-"

"You'll be safe here," he smiles. I throw myself towards him, and then flames fill my vision, and I'm chained once more, scrabbling for freedom, because I know I've made the biggest mistake, and everyone I love is about to be killed. Daeva will be killed. 

"Thank you. That will be all." The key turns in the lock behind him. I lunge to the doorknob, rattling it frantically, pounding against the wood. But, somehow, there's smoke flooding my lungs, and I choke, and I sway on my feet as everything blurs and goes black.