I Found Home

Chapter 24

Hannah

Nothing ever lasts forever they say . Well , whoever said that is so wrong . Only good things don't last forever , bad thing on the other hand ? Can last enough to scar souls and shatter hearts . Nothing beautiful becomes permanent , it only lasts enough to be a memory of good old times . However , terrible tragedies can haunt us from our pasts or multiply in the future .

Just like me and Kane now . We're definitely not lasting , a fact both of us knew but we still ignored . I think we always planned to end things ourselves at a certain point , not because we have to , and right now since Paget knows , we are over .

I had to tell her everything , how I met him in that coffee shop , how both me and him tried to ignore that tension between us at school and how we miserably failed .

All of it , I laid it all in her palms and I only can hope she doesn't use it against him . His entire future and career is at jeopardy now , because of me . I shouldn't have agreed to this in the first place . I should have kept my control over myself .

Paget is pacing in front of me as I sit at the edge of my bed , watching her seeming so agitated and worried , shocked and confused . I can see the way she blinks fast and too much , her blonde hair is tousled for the first time ever and her sighs are so loud they make me feel like a disappointment , I hate this feeling and this silence .

« Won't you say anything ? » I try to keep my voice neutral and loud as I ask her . I did nothing to be ashamed of , except liking someone who was out of my league . But that someone made me the happiest I ever was in my entire life . All the smiles and the moments we shared , are things I certainly don't regret .

She stops pacing and looks at me crossing her arms in front of her chest . « Say ? What can I say ? » She starts walking towards me slowly . « He's ... our teacher , Hannah ... »

« I'm aware . » I say dryly as I look away from her .

« Mr Oliver is a nice and good man , but he's still a man . What if he's been using you ? » She kneels before me and takes my hands in hers . I pull away and stand up .

« Use me for what ? » I scoff .

She stands up , eyeing me in a strange manner . « You know ... for fun ... and ... » A blush colors her pale face as she struggles to voice her thoughts .

Realisation hits me and I look away shaking my head . « No ! No we ... we didn't ... »

« Hannah , you don't have to lie to me . I'm not judging I'm just trying to make sure you don't get hurt.»

« But I'm not lying . » My eyes meet hers and I make sure to look intensely at her green cat eyes to make her see that I'm being honest .

She frowns before she starts walking towards me again carefully . « What does he want from you then?» Such a stupid yet good question I asked myself many times .

I'm not someone who places her trust in people easily , especially when it comes to the other gender . Every time I'm with him I wish to ask about the reason why he seemed attracted to a girl like me , but the thought fades away from the fear of his answer , or from the fact that his presence is so distracting .

I shrug , I have no idea how to answer . I understand her though , she is worried that I'm being exploited by an older man for his own twisted pleasures , but that's far from the truth .

Call me delusional but there is a connection between me and him , we don't always need to talk to understand one another , sometimes our eyes talk better .

« Are you in love with him ? »

My eyes widen at her , but I don't shake my head like I should .

Why am I not shaking my head ?