I Found Home

Chapter 36

Hannah

White is scary .

Just like this reception room , all white and shiny , even the new secretary guy is wearing a white blouse. The furniture I'm sitting on is white , only the paintings contains some other colors , and the magazines on the wooden coffee table in front of me . Two other patients are here , they're the only colorful things here in addition to myself .

Well maybe white is not scary , but it's creepy .

It gives that sense of void and nullity along with numbness , the same feeling that clings to me whenever I think of my father or how I feel about that man .

It used to be hatred , deep and raw with claws circling my throat in a chokehold .

That hatred poisoned only me eventually . That man though , he is living his life and probably experiencing things I never allowed myself to because of the trauma he caused me .

He's born evil , I'm sure of it .

Especially if even his own father disowned him completely and never cared to ask or check on his one and only heir .

I let go of that hatred once my heart became filled with love , unconditional , strong and pure . My love for Kane is so big it kicked out every emotion of hatred I had for the man who birthed me . Kane's presence in my life is a blessing and something I needed more than money . Seriously , no amount of it could have bought me a man like him .

And I almost ruined it all .

I pass a hand through my hair , letting out a sigh as I wait for Paget to finish her therapy session for today . I made it a habit to come with her when I can , it's the least I can do for the girl who's helping me keep a huge secret from everyone . And she has nobody to come with her here except me and Haze . The latter is off to London for some business meeting his father set him to handle . He's been bragging about how his father is now entrusting him with more tasks concerning their company , but the thing he's most proud of is competing with Merlow and winning .

She's been doing well lately , Doctor Payne is asking her to reduce her dose of antidepressants , but it doesn't mean she doesn't need them anymore . Her condition isn't stable , and the depression could be tricky . It gives the illusion of retreating only to come back with destructive force .

Though the fact that my friend is doing well is promising .

« That's a nice jacket . » The secretary boy , who's been behind the counter just a second ago is now standing in front of me , with brownish dark skin gleaming under the white light of the cabinet and black afro hair forming a halo around his face . I stare up startled from my thoughts and focus on him . His almond brown eyes fix the logo on my jacket , it's not even mine . Paget went to that amusement park with Haze as a date and won it then I somehow borrowed it since it's more my style than hers .

« Thanks . » I say curtly with a tight smile .

Have I mentioned before that I suck at socializing ?

« Do you know the band ? » He's still fixating my jacket as a wide smile stretches his face .

I shake my head slowly .

« They're called Myths and other things . Don't judge the name , their songs rock . » He says holding up a hand in defense .

I laugh and nod my head . « Someone's a fan . »

« My brother is a member and he kind of got me into that kind of music . » He appears hesitant before he finally says . « I can get tickets from him if you'd like to give your own opinion on them . »