The Mute And The Reader [#YourStoryIndia][#Wattys2015]

Twenty-Two

Aryan hasn't changed a bit in those ten days. But then who changes in ten days? Still, I was expecting something. Perhaps I was expecting that he would suddenly be able to speak.

As he enters the ward, I can see a huge smile on his face along with relief. He looks so happy to see me. I can't help feeling terrible. Soon that smile will fade away. I want to tell him right away but I'm so bloody nervous that I can't even open my mouth.

He's walking really fast and in a second reaches the end of my bed. He sits beside me and holds my hand. He looks at me intently for a long time, probably thinking something and waiting for my response.

But I can't hear him.

Tears start forming in my eyes. I'm missing him. I'm missing him so much! He's sitting right beside me, holding my hand and I'm missing him.

I have no idea what he wants to tell me. My mind is no longer filled with his constant chatter. There's complete silence and it is deafening. I can't take it any longer. My eyes are filled with tears by now as I purse my lips, trying to control myself. My tears fall on both the sides of my face through the corner of my eyes as I blink to see him clearly. He looks at me and gets worried. He cups my left cheek with his hand, probably asking me what's the matter. His silence has made me silent.

Why the hell am I not saying anything?

He has started caressing my head as I cry more frantically now. He's evidently freaked out. He holds my hand tighter, trying his best to comfort me. I'm dying to hear him. But I just can't. The mere thought makes my cry even more. I know he's asking for an explanation.

"I'm sorry!" I say in between sobs.

He looks confused.

"I'm sorry, Aryan!" I repeat, "I can't!"

I've just confused him even more.

"I...I...can't hear anything." I whisper, hoping he won't hear it.

But he hears it. And his brows converge in question and confusion.

What does she mean? I imagine him thinking. How much I miss his thoughts!

He's still looking at me. And then in a few seconds he realizes what I'm saying. His eyes slowly widen with shock. His reaction is what I feared the most and it is much more than what I imagined.

"I'm sorry!" I say again.

He immediately takes his hands off my head. His grip on my hand loosens.

"I...I...don't know how it happened," I say, thinking that it might convince him, "I don't know! I'm really sorry!"

He has completely let go of my hand by now.

"I...I...just woke up today and I was not able to hear anything! I don't know what to do." I'm crying uncontrollably.

He's shaking his head in denial. All I can see is shock on his face. He's not even looking at me. He's just staring at the opposite wall. I want to know what he's thinking. I slide my hand to find his. I hold it. It's my turn to comfort him. He doesn't look at me even then.

"I'm really sorry, Aryan!" I say. I know he won't forgive me but I still have hope.

After what seems like ages, he finally turns his head to look at me. I can see that his eyes are glistening with tears. I look back at him hopefully. He lowers his head to look at our hands entwined together. I suddenly feel him pulling out his hand. I look at him in dismay and slight surprise. Even though, all this was expected, I'm still surprised. He pulls his hand free and starts getting up from the stool beside my bed.

"Don't go! Please!" I plead. I can't stop myself from saying that. Even though I don't deserve him, I want him. Perhaps he would stay if I plead.

He looks at me for a long time. I want to know what's going on in his mind. He is looking at me as if that's the last time that he'll get to see me. I can see pain in his eyes, the pain of leaving me but then I can also see anger. He's angry with me. And he has every right to be. He is clenching his jaw in anger as he continues looking at me. I know he is trying to control his emotions but with me, he never controlled himself. He was a free bird. He wasn't scared of what I would suddenly hear about him. He was happy.

And I ruined his happiness by first coming into his life, giving him some hope and then brutally snatching it away from him.

And in a sudden swift move, he walks out of my ward. I keep looking at his back till it disappears round a corner. I'm supposed to cry in desperation, sorrow and utter remorse. But I don't. I don't cry because I know one thing for sure. And that's the thing that will keep me going for the rest of my life. There's no denying to it even if he walks out of my ward or my life for that matter. The fact will hold true whatever he does:

He loves me no matter what.