𝑩𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝑺𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒔 | ᵀᵂᴰ

10: Death to Myself

I was laying on the hood of a car with my back against the windshield as I watched the stars. I was interrupted when Daryl and Andrea exited the RV.

"I'm coming too." She said. Where are they going? I hopped off the car and grabbed my bow and quiver. I ran over to her and Daryl.

"I'm goin' for a walk. Shine some light in the forest." Daryl told Dale. "If she's out there, give 'er somethin' to look at."

"You think that's a good idea right now?" Dale asked. "Dale." Andrea said.

"Isa, you better stay here." Daryl said. "No, it's my fault she's missing now it's particularly my job to find her." I said. "Alright, just stay close." He put his hand on my back, pushing me in front of him.

➳

"You really think we're gonna find Sophia?" Andrea asked. Daryl shined the light on her face.

"Ya got that look on yer face, same as everybody else." He said. "What the hell's wrong with you people? We just started lookin'." "Well, do you?" "It ain't the mountains of Tibet. It's Georgia. She could be holed up in a farmhouse somewhere." Daryl said. "People get lost, and they survive. Happens all the time." "She's only twelve." Andrea said. "Hell, I was younger than her, and I got lost."

I started to trail behind, and Daryl pointed his flashlight at me, then a spot on the ground where he wanted me to be. I walked faster, so I was in the light.

"Nine days in the woods eatin' berries, wipin' my ass with poison oak." I pushed my lips together, trying not to laugh. "They found you?" Andrea asked. "My old man was off on a bender with some waitress. Merle was doin' another stint in juvie. Isa wasn't born yet. Didn't even know I was gone." Daryl said. "I made my way back, though. Went straight into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich. No worse for wear. Expect my ass itched something awful."

I bit the inside of my cheek slightly to contain my laughter. Andrea failed and let out a small, quick laugh. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, that is a terrible story." Andrea laughed quietly as I couldn't help but join her. Daryl did, too, for a moment. "Only difference is Sophia's got people lookin' for 'er. I call that an advantage."

In Andrea's laughter, all I could hear was Amy. All I could think about was Amy. But now a new girl has entered my life. That Greene girl. I wish I knew her name. In a few days, I will. Hopefully.

➳

As we searched through the woods, trees rustled. Daryl aimed his crossbow at the noise, and I held my bow in my left hand. My other was holding onto an arrow just in case.

We slowly walked towards the noise. There was slow creaking and more leaves rustling.

"What the hell?" Daryl said as we found what was causing the noise. It was a walker hanging from a tree. "Got bit. Fever hit. World gone to shit. Might as well quit." Daryl read the letter on the tree. "Dumbass didn't know enough to shoot himself in the head."

"Turned himself into a damn piñata." I said. "An' a mess." Daryl replied. Andrea groaned and hunched over. "You okay?" I asked. "Trying not to puke." She said. "Go ahead if ya gotta." Daryl said. "No, I'm fine. Let's just talk about something else for a moment. How'd you learn to shoot?" "Gotta eat. That's one thing these walkers and us have in common." Daryl said. "I guess it's the closest he's been to food since he turned. Look at 'em. Just hangin' up 'ere." "Like I said. Damn piñata." "The other geeks came and ate all the flesh off his legs." Daryl said.

Andrea couldn't hold it in anymore and puked. I rubbed her back gently as she did. When she was done, she stood up straight. "I thought we were changing the subject." "Call that payback for laughin' about my itchy ass." Daryl said. "There wasn't a lot that came up." Didn't need to know that, but okay.

"Let's head back." Daryl said, turning around. "Aren't you gonna..." Andrea trailed off. "No, he ain't hurtin' nobody." Daryl said. "Ain't gonna waste an arrow either. He made his choice, opted out. Let him hang."

Andrea walked over to the piñata walker and shined her flashlight on it. "Ya want to live now or not?" Daryl asked. Andrea turned around and looked at him. "It's just a question." "An answer for an arrow. Fair?" She replied. Daryl nodded.

"I don't know if I want to live or if I have to or... it's just a habit." She said. "Not much of an answer." I replied before shooting an arrow into the piñata walkers head. "Waste of an arrow." Daryl said. We turned around and walked back to the highway.

➳

I climbed over the barricade and headed to the RV. Dale stared at us. I shook my head and followed Daryl into the RV.

Carol was lying in the bed crying. I couldn't tell if she was sleeping or awake. I prayed she was sleeping because I didn't want to break the news to her that we didn't find Sophia or any sigh of her tonight.

Daryl sat at the table and rested his chin on his fist, looking out the window. I put my bow and quiver on the counter and sat next to Daryl. I rested my head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around me.

There was this pit of regret in my body. What if I stayed at camp the night Amy died? What if I just ran back to the highway when I had Sophia in my arms?

What if I died that night dad shot me?

Dad died thinking he killed me. And I survived knowing he was dead.

Sometimes, I can still hear the sound of him shooting himself. His body falling to the floor. The paramedics. The nurse telling me he was dead.

What if I had attended his funeral? Seeing him lay there like he was asleep. He's probably at peace now thinking I'm dead with him.

I wish I was.