A Court Of Love & Sufferings

ch.4

Lying on the cold ground of the garden i look up to stars beaming, letting the peaceful image settle in my mind to forget what i did.

I think about those two men i killed. Did they turn into stars, are they looking at me right now. If stars could curse i might get struck by one turning me into ashes from their burn.

I have been doing this since i turned 10 yet it never gets easier. It probably won't ever. With each life i take my heart aches more. The weight of their death on my shoulders drowns me further into abyss. The darkness surrounds me cocooning me into their embrace providing their warmth.

They have been my constant companion throughout the struggles i have faced in my life. I remember the day they first appeared. I was locked up in a cell for a punishment, it had been days nobody came to free me, no meals for a week. I sat on the ground starving begging them to open the door, apologizing for trying to go outside the castle.

I had never been outside, that day i wanted to go out see for myself all the things i have heard from the servants. The market, the fair, the crowd, the open sky, to roam in the streets without any eyes.

I had just stepped outside soon the guards found me. Dragging me back in the walls i have been in since my birth. The king punished me i received 10 lashes and was locked in a dark room for 10 days. The very room where i train my abilities now.

As i starved in darkness feeling myself fading away i started imagining things, i began hallucinating. I saw shadows moving around in circles they started coming closer to me. They traveled upon my legs to my face gently caressing me. They whispered softly in my ears. I sat there in the room engulfed with shadows for the next days till my doors opened.

The guards were stunned with the scene in front of them. The shadows disappeared merging in the very darkness they came from. They dragged me out to the king.

The king was smiling he looked at me grinning while i was trying my best to keep my eyes open.

He said he wanted to see those shadows, i didn't understand....weren't those just my imaginations.. I swayed on my feet passing out.

Next day i was ordered to put back in that dark room. The king appeared there, he told me to summon them. I didn't know how to. They brought metal chains binding me from the walls. As i started panicking they appeared. Smooth as snake they crawled to me engulfing me. They wrapped around the chains with a burst the chains fell down breaking into pieces.

The king was impressed he ordered me to train in that very room from that day onwards. So I did, i tried summoning them, calling them out, they did. They appeared whenever i called for them. It went on.

Looking upto the stars i remember my first kill. The fae i killed with this darkness. How i drown him in darkness. I did that to save lily and poppy, since then i have been killing all those the king tells me to.

Lost in thought i didn't realize when someone came closer to me. Alerting i take my stance.