This Is Me Trying

Chapter 18: Evil

Ever since Tyler invited me to meet his dead ex-wife, I have never gotten rid of the uncomfortable feeling that I had.

But I never confronted him about it. I never said what I felt. I was afraid that it would cause us to argue, and he would eventually won't open up to me anymore.

I'm fine keeping this inside, if it means I'm keeping the peace.

"That's it for today's lecture. Have a great afternoon, everyone."

The professor left the room. I was preparing everything that I had because his class was my last for today.

"Excuse me, Eli,"

Isa sa mga blockmates ko ang lumapit sa'kin.

"Sorry sa abala, pero pinapatawag ka sa faculty."

Mahinhin niyang sabi bago ngumiti.

"Sige. Thank you!"

Hindi ko minadali ang sarili ko, alam ko naman na it's either about sa tuition, na bayad na ako. O dahil na naman sa stepmother kong ayaw talaga akong tantanan.

"Excuse me po, pinapatawag niyo raw po ako?"

Hindi ko pa rin nakakalimutan ang pagtanggi niya sa'kin sa scholarship, pero kailangan ko gumalang. After all siya pa rin ang may pinakamataas na posisyon dito.

"I asked for you to give you this."

He handed me an envelope. Kumunot ang noo ko nang makita na sulat ang laman nito.

"Para saan po ito?"

"That's from your stepmother. It was written for me, but I thought I needed to show you."

I opened the letter and started reading it slowly. Attached to it is banknotes.

Akala ko ba naghihirap na sila? Bakit kaya pa nila magbigay ng isang milyon sa ibang tao?

The letter basically said that the university should not accept my enrollment next school year.

"Susundin niyo?"

Nawala na ang "po" ko. Hindi ko na kasi alam kung deserve niya pa ba.

"Sigurado naman ako na nabasa mo ang huling parte ng sulat. At alam kong alam mo na ang sagot ko."

Sa huling bahagi nakalaan ang pangako nila na magiging major sponsors sila ng university. At kapag nag-aral pa rin ako rito, babawiin nila lahat ng perang ibinigay nila.

"I think that's better for you too. Sa ganitong paraan, hindi ka na nila magugulo. Hindi ba?"

"So you're finally showing your true colors, huh? Wala na ang pagpapanggap na parang concern ka."

Noon kung makipag-usap siya sa akin, akala mo concern na concern sa akin. Pero ngayon wala na siyang pakialam.

"Because I realized that Mrs. Eliade was right. There's nothing you can do, so I don't have to be afraid of you."

Ramdam na ramdam ko ang inis ang pagkulo ng dugo ko. Padabog akong tumayo na hindi inaalis sa mata niya ang tingin ko.

"Fuck you and this bullshit of a university. I hope you all burn in hell!"

I stormed out of his office. I took my phone out and sat at one of the benches beside the building. Pinili ko iyong malayo sa mga tao para walang makadinig sa'kin.

I tried typing numbers that I knew was her number. Hindi ko na kasi kabisado at hindi na rin naka-save sa phone ko. Sa sobrang dami kong triny na number, naiyak na ako sa stress.