Squidward didn't always know where his resentment and anger came from but he had a difficult time suppressing it. Leading to cruel and unusual outbursts. Spongebob was a good noodle, a standard he wanted to hold himself to but he faltered frequently. Spongebob was helping Squidward make his dreams come true he held onto that kindness for as long as he could, but his suction cupped grip loosened and he fell to pettiness and tomfoolery as he always does... Oh, Squidward.
On this sad day Squidward witnessed Spongebob with a kissy mark on his forehead at first he was jealous until he caught sight of Spongebob's grandma. He laughed and laughed in Spongebob's face, but what he didn't know is this attempt to mock a normal loving familial relationship also came from jealousy. A different type of jealousy. You see, when Squidward's grandma was on her deathbed the last thing she said to him was "Boy, you're always going to be nothing. Don't forget it." Squidward was only 9 years old. His other grandma, Granny Tentacles, never spelt it out explicitly like that, but Squidward knew she felt the same way. He would never know the warmth and safety and joy of a grandma forehead kiss. After Squidward successfully made Spongebob feel inferior for not being tainted by fragile masculinity he still didn't feel fulfilled. Him and the other touch-starved losers of Bikini Bottom resorted to STALKING. Staring at Spongebob and his grandma hugging through the window. They all laughed and laughed despite feeling sad and empty inside.
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Spongebob stormed outside. He has had enough.
"Can you guys explain the joke to me? I'm not sure I get it"
There was an awkward pause.
"YOUR GRANDMA KISS-" Squidward started to say forcing out a wheeze laugh as he choked between words
"My grandma kissed me on the head and you're all watching from her window like perverts"
Crickets. I mean he had a point.
"why don't you just-" Karen with her botched fish botox tried to spit out but Spongebob cut them off again
"If growing up means I have to stalk and harass someone for loving their family I will NEVER grow up. Now get off my grandma's lawn before I call the police"
An empty threat. The police in Bikini Bottom never did their jobs. Kinda like the police everywhere else!
But everyone knew to disperse. Truthfully they only picked on Spongebob because they never thought he'd call them out like that. He was more of an adult than they would ever be.
As Squidward dragged his feet Spongebob called for him
"Squidward"
He turned around hoping Spongebob would forgive him.
"Don't come over to practice clarinet tonight. Maybe your grandma can help you instead."
