HP John Snape

Chapter 97

From the beginning, Snape knew one fact - sooner or later, John would grow tired of him.

This premonition has been hanging in his heart like a shadow.

It has nothing to do with his ugliness or his inferiority, this is just a habit engraved in his bones.

It had been like this for as long as Snape could remember - whether it was Tobias and Irene, or Lily.

Whatever he wants, he will lose.

It was like a curse of doom that clung to his soul.

He was rejected by all the good things he hoped for, family, friendship, love... As time goes by, he no longer has hope, so he will no longer despair.

Meeting John was just an accident.

He recognized his own feelings through John's death, and he hoped in despair. He couldn't help but hope that the curse of doom would not come true again and end with John.

All Snape had always wanted was for someone to love him, even though he never wanted to admit it.

--But now it seems that he is still wishful thinking.

"Mr. Snape, are you really unaware of this?" His voice was cold and sarcastic.

John looked very confused.

He was speechless and looked unbelievable: "Severus, are you wrong? I, how could I hate you?"

"John. You think you are full of feelings for someone... But yours Emotions are not as deep as you think."

Snape's voice softened a little. He looked at John calmly, and raised his slender fingers to rest on the corners of John's eyebrows.

"This is outrageous!" John couldn't help but retort, "You're not me, how do you know I don't love you that much?"

... Otherwise, why do you feel disgusted subconsciously?

Snape felt that he was too tired to ridicule John, and there was only an empty calm in his heart.

The happiness during this period was like a castle in the air or the shadow of the moon in the water. He had been hoping for it, but there was always a place in his heart that told him that these happiness did not belong to him and would always be returned.

Now that we have finally reached this point, the Sword of Damocles has fallen, Snape feels very calm.

...Look, he is still the bad boy from Spider-End Alley who was rejected by everything.

Nothing has changed.

Snape's eyes were empty and calm, and he narrated tonelessly: "It's not that you don't have feelings, you just stubbornly believe that you still deeply like me."

"John, you just don't admit it."

John's eyes After a flash of trance, he couldn't help but tilt his head and avoid Snape's fingers.

In Snape's eyes, this kind of performance was nothing but a matter of course.

He coldly pulled away John's somewhat relaxed arms and prepared to disapparate again.

"Wait a minute - it's not like that, Severus!" John suddenly came back to his senses and hugged him tightly again.

"You said I just don't admit my dislike for you, but I have never felt this way!"

John retorted, grabbing Snape's collar, pulling him close, and fiercely blocked the man's lips, He took the initiative to reach in and plundered inch by inch with very rough movements.

Snape didn't resist, but he didn't accommodate either. He just let John move without moving.

"Look! I obviously like it very much!" John suddenly let go, panting and staring at him.

"You are the person I like! So I like kissing you, going to bed with you, and everything about you. Do you want me to prove it?"

He looked down at Snape's waist provocatively, ready to make a move.

"No need -" Snape realized that if he didn't stop him, John would really take action.

He could see that the intimacy and affection in those blue eyes were real.

--But John's disgust before was also real.

"What was the reason for your retching just now?" Snape asked. He realized something was wrong.

"I don't know either." John breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that the crisis was finally over. So he replied with an aggrieved expression, "I just suddenly felt like retching - I even forgot why I wanted to go to the study."

Snape frowned and waved his wand to detect spells one by one. Among the large green light, a dazzling red light is very conspicuous.

Snape froze in disbelief.

"Severus? What is this?" John was worried.

"This is the stability of the soul." Snape still didn't come back to his senses.

The author has something to say: Because of Snape's past experiences, he preconceived that John loved him, but not very deeply. Even when he started to dislike him, he subconsciously ignored it, unwilling to admit that their relationship was not strong.

He believes that no matter how long it takes, there is only one ending for them, and that is separation.

I feel sorry for the professor. He has wanted love all his life, but no one has ever given it to him. This is the inertial thinking formed from this.

(I just revised the article and added a paragraph)