𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚍𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 | 𝚋𝚎𝚗 𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚞𝚜

1. brimford?

me and hap walked in the forest. we had went out to try to find food, but didnt have much luck. we were barely able to find some fruits

"so," hap started, "why was there blood on you? you never got close enough."

I grimaced at the question, I would have to tell him eventually. "well, what a funny story!"

"y/n, what did you do?"

"I killed her"

hap stayed quiet for a while, "I figured"

I looked at him, dumbfounded, "wait what? what do you mean?"

he shrugged his shoulders, "I dont know, I just had a feeling. you looked like you wouldnt let her go without consequence"

I looked up ahead, changing the subject, "should we bring anything to help clean up?"

hap looked at me, "no, we just need to adjust some things, the storm wasnt bad to base. but you need to stop changing the subject"

I sighed, "well if you reallyy want to know, I stabbed her a couple of times. I cut off her tongue after, I guess I thought it would make her stop screaming but it didnt."

"that would be the vocal cords" hap pointed out.

"yeah I know..I just..I guess I just got caught up in the moment." I admitted.

"well, are you okay?"

I sighed, "you would think killing someone would fuck you up, but honestly, I dont feel anything."

happy stared at me. I looked ahead, but I could feel his eyes on me. I continued,

"I know theres something wrong with me mentally. normal people dont just kill someone and go on with their day. normal people dont hurt themselves for fun or because they miss it. im just scared of getting help. for years, my box cutter was all I had. I couldnt tell anyone because they would out me to the press, I already made that mistake when I told them I liked girls too. I couldnt tell my dad because I didnt want to hurt him. I only ever told sammy and ben. but even after I promised them I would stop, I kept going. I just.." I sighed, trying to find the words,

"Im just scared of getting help, because hurting myself is so comforting."

I looked over to hap, and saw sorrow in his eyes, I quickly looked back ahead, "um, sorry for that rant"

"dont apologize for talking about your feelings"

I smiled, "thanks hap.."

"your parents died, didnt they?"

I nodded, "yeah"

"did you ever find out how?"

I shook my head, "all I know is that there was an accident. they died on this island. but I was never told how"

hap nodded as he continued walking, while I decided to let something off my chest.

"I want to find out how they died. before we leave this island, I want to find out how they died"

hap patted my back, "I wish you luck on that"

I smiled, "thanks hap"

as we reached the camp, I quickly spotted darius.

"darius!" I yelled out, handing the fruit to hap before running up and hugging darius.

I rocked us back and forth for a bit, I kissed him on the head and looked at him, "your okay!"