Soulmate [UNEDITED]

pain

As she walked by a certain room, some sniffs caught her attention, she creaked the door open to find rani Kashi sitting on the edge of the bed, crying her eyes out "pratham rani Kashi, what happened?" She looked at Tara with her bloodshot eyes "pratham rani huh?" She sat down Tara by her shoulders "let's talk" Kashi said.

.....................................

Kashi took Tara by her shoulders, still sniffing badly with red eyes due to her crying and made her stand in front of the mirror "look at the mirror, and tell me, who do you see there?" Tara was confused by her question, but she answered anyways "me, Tara" grand queen nodded "Tara, raja Hashrat's 21st wife...." she gently pushed her aside and stood in front of the mirror "now? Who's standing in the mirror?" She looked at Tara giving off the desperation, the pain, the numbness she was feeling inside her through her eyes "you, rani Kashi-"

"Yes, pratham rani Kashi!" She smiled, but that smile held no happiness "You're the 21st queen, you haven't even been with the king for 6 months, yet you got the thing I yearned for years" she shifted her weight and looked into Tara's eyes for answer, she knew it's not her fault, but the pain in her heart, the burning sensation in her body made her sick. Her heart finally broke into million pieces ,no one can re build it now, its broken, forever. "Tell me Tara, what do I lack? What do I lack that you have? I did everything they wanted me to do, I took responsibility of the inner palace, took care of the other queens and shared my husband with them without any complaints, then why are you the one receiving the love I yearned for years without even trying, without even wanting? Every other queen knew that they have to divide their love, but I? I dreamed about a happy life with my husband, my love, mine, and mine only. Sure there would have been troubles, but if raja ji and I joined hands, we would have defeated any problem. Pehli rani hokar bhi, dusri aurat bane rahe hum. (Even though I'm the 1st queen, I became the 2nd woman my entire life). I was the one who stayed with him all these years, then why are you getting the love? Why?" Her voice became loud at the end of the conversation.

Tara was speechless, what should she say? This was getting more and more complicated. 1st he loves the girl in the painting , which is Nayna, but he thinks that girl is her, Tara, here grand queen wanted love from Harshat from the very beginning, she was not wrong, she was his wife afterall, and Harshat wanted the girls to have a safe life, thats why he wanted to join hands with her.

The dilemma was killing her, what should she choose? She can't be the reason of anyone's pain, she hated being anyone's pain, the Dhruv Tara shone brightly when she was born, meaning she will navigate those in need. She cannot be someone's reason to feel puzzled. One way was the girls having a happy life, and on the other hand, rani Kashi living and mourning on a daily basis. Even if she did end up falling in love with Harshat, she cannot enjoy her love while stabbing the others.

Rani Kashi was still crying, trying to bring herself to accept the fact that she will never receive the love she wanted, the love she craved, the love she deserved. Tara left the room with a hazy mind, everything was confusing her, what was wrong? What was right? And on top of that, Nayna will be back soon, that happiness yet fearful sadness engulfing the mind and logical thinking capacity. She needed rest, deciding something with a hazy brain is never a clever option, even the decision of marrying Harshat instead of Nayna was taken with a calm mind.

Tara went to her room, turned off every candle and closed every curtain that allowed light to enter in her room. She asked the gaurds and servants to leave her alone and not disturb her, they did as she said. Emerging in her own mind, she kept looking for answers, accepting Harshat as a lover is out of the options of course, but the pain she felt in Kashi's words were evident that she was heartbroken, not only broken but no happiness in it. A person cannot live a life without happiness, or love, yet she lost both. But everytime she tried to choose Kashi, Amba's scared to death face of that day would appear in front of her, making her stop in what she should focus on.

...........................................................

The morning came, the sun was shining brightly as everyday it does. With a new morning a new decision was made, Tara thought the whole night before choosing the right side, making the right decision.

Tara did her morning routine, feeling fresh and well dressed she left to have a breakfast with father king. Her walk held confidence, that she lacked the other day, well first meeting are always nerve wrecking anyways. We should thank those nerves for making it easy for us to face them the next time.

The gaurd asked permission from the father king , he agreed and she entered the room. The room was same as before, but less intimidating than before. Before she had no power,no plan more accurately, now she did, she had all things planned in her mind. The father king may have connections and power, but there is one thing he lacked, the taste of fear, the taste of defeat, that is what going to make sure that she gets to her goal. His arrogance is gonna be the tool she will use against him "Pranam rajpita" she bowed her head. Heotioned her to raise her head "Tell me, what is it that you wanted to discuss with me 21st queen Tara?" She smiled as she sat down on a nearby chair without his permission "let's make a deal old man".