Lost and Found

Chapter Five

In two weeks, a lot can happen. Mom and dad hired lawyers, to aide in the divorce. Dad, moved out, and took every family photo that had him in it, erasing himself from our lives entirely. Jacob and Millie, began dating two days after we had broken up, and I gave into Will, three different times. I didn't want it to happen, i didn't even think it would end up the way it always did. We were being dumb, forgoing protection for the mercy of each other's body's once. Everytime, I told him never again, and everytime, he called me on it.

I had racked my brain, for a reason why I was so drawn to him, what it was about him that got me off without him lifting a finger. Mom, a well trained physiatrist, enrolled Harper and I in weekly therapy sessions, in an effort to keep us well rounded, and not completely lose our minds. I didn't, but that was because, mom was going through alcohol so fast, I could take two bottles and she would think she'd drank them. My therapist, a thirty something woman, with platinum hair in a high ponytail, and too much fake tan. She was nice, her name was Karrie, and unlike most therapists, she didn't make me feel like i was three years old.

"Aaliyah, how are you?" She asked, as I took my seat across from her. I glance around the office, with its pale pink walls, and soft decor.

"As good as someone in my situation can be." I shrugged. Smoothing my skirt.

"And what situation is that?" She asked. We'd had two sessions before this. She knew what situation.

"The divorce." I said matter-a factly. I was still to guilty to even dare mention the sex and the smoking, but it had been eating away at my brain, for the last two and a half weeks.

"Anything else?" She pressed. I averted my eyes. Supposedly, you go to school for years upon years, you get good at reading people.

"What's the deal again? I asked. She smiled.

"I won't tell your parents anything, unless you are going to harm yourself, or harm somebody else." She said. I nodded.

"Promise?" I said. She held out her pinky.

"Pinky promise." She said.

So I told her, I told her about Will, I told her about the fresh pack of cigarettes that I'd bought from the gas station three days ago. I told her that I'd found myself underneath Will, for the third time. I told her how I felt.

Karrie just listened, and non stopped scribbled on her notepad. When I was done talking, she looked at me.

"Oh, and I don't even know why? Why do I like him? Why I keep going back, what it is about him?!" I snapped. Karrie set the clipboard down.

"Because, he's the opposite of you. He practically represents your rebelion. He's the opposite of everything you believe in, thats why your drawn to him." She says. i debate this, maybe she's right. He was all the bad things, I was told never to do, told to stay away from him.

"Does that make me a bad person?" I ask. She shrugs.

"Everyone wants what they can't have, just don't let it get out of hand." She told me. I zoned out after that, focusing on the fact that I believed she was right. When I left, I didn't say anything to mom, the entire car ride home.

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I had tossed and turned for hours, It was 2am, when I slipped from my window and made the three mile bike ride to Will's/Jacob's. When I got there, all the lights were off. I threw my bike down in front of a house three houses down. I walked around, quietly to the back window. Will's room. I rapped on the glass, softly. A moment later he slid it open. Seeing him, in the moonlight, I smiled. He raised an eyebrow.