sweet nothing - caitlin clark

on a wednesday, in a cafe

ellie

april 24th, 2024

i wake up to the sun shining harshly through my curtains, groaning as i roll over to face the wall. i've been bed rotting almost the whole week. my phone died about three days ago but i've made no move to charge it, i don't want to see what's on there. 

last monday i was working at my desk, studying for my last final of the year and my entire college education since i'm a senior. i opened my phone to scroll on instagram to give my brain a break and tapped on an old friends account, having not talked to her in a few months and just wanting to see what she's been up to. 

i saw the cover of her recent post was her and a girl kissing her cheek so of course i clicked on the picture. when i opened it and saw the tag, my heart dropped. it was a picture of her with my ex girlfriend, the caption reading "seven months with my best friend <3. can't wait for many more!"

i felt like i couldn't breathe, not knowing how to process this. my ex girlfriend, ashley, broke up with me eight months ago. she's younger than me so she still has one year of school left before she graduates. we had been together for almost a year at that point. 

september 15th, 2023

one night, i was opening my emails and i saw one from the veterinarian school i applied to, saying i got in. i shot up out of my chair in excitement and screamed for a bit. ashley came rushing in, probably assuming something bad had happened but i ignored her concern and handed her the computer so she could read the message. 

as i watched her eyes scan over she, a frown came across her lips. she slowly handed my computer back to me and stood silently.

"is something wrong?" i asked gently, raising my eyebrows in confusion.

"you do realize what this means, right?" raising her eyebrows right back at me. i shook my head in confusion. 

"what are you talking about?" i racked my braining trying to come to a conclusion on what she's saying, but i come up empty. she sighs.

"it means you're gonna be in school for what, like four more years? i'll be graduating next year and have plans to move away, not to stay here." her voice is snappy as she's talking to me like i'm a child.

"i'm sorry, i had no idea that was your plan," i say sincerely, "this is just my dream, you know? we can do long distance and i'll come visit you as much as i can and then you come visi-" ashley cuts me off before i can finish.

"no ellie, i don't want to do long distance. it never works anyways." her words have my stomach turning.

"so what are you saying? you don't even wanna try?" i ask quietly. 

"i just think this means we shouldn't be together. i don't wanna hold you back from doing what you want. our schedules will just be too different." she explains. i shake my head to stop her.

"you won't hold me back, ashley. i'll follow you wherever you wanna go. there's plenty of vet schools in the country." she just sighs, looking at me empathetically. she grabs my hands in hers gently.

"i'm sorry ellie, i really am, but there's no good way for both of us to be happy staying together." my eyes well up with tears.

"so that's it? you're breaking up with me." my voice breaks and she pulls me into a hug.

"i am, i'm really sorry. it's just not meant to work out." tears pour from my eyes onto her shoulder, knowing this is the last time i'll hold her. 

over the next few days we return each other's items back to their owner and separate for good.