Spencer Reid One Shots

Chapter 5: I'm Always Here For You

Note: (Y/N) means your name, (Y/F/N) means your full name, (L/N) means last name
I'm taking requests because writer's block is a thing.
TRIGGER WARNING: TOPIC OF DRUG ABUSE

You and Spencer have been in the best relationship; he truly listens to you, respects your boundaries, makes you laugh, especially when a case is tough, and he doesn't mind cuddling or being close on the jet when you're tired. You love him dearly and Hotch doesn't seem to have a problem with it if you two remain focused on the case and leave the relationship for after hours. You've been dating for a year; the best year of your life.

Until it changed.

Six months ago, Spencer was kidnapped by a clever unsub with multiple personalities; his name was Tobias Hankel. During that case, you were probably the second most focused and determined person to find your boyfriend, Gideon being the first. You and the team found out that Spencer was being tortured and beaten the whole two days this man had him. The true personality, Tobias, would give him Dilaudid so that when his father's personality came out to beat him, he wouldn't feel as much of the pain.

You never cried while trying to find him; you stayed focused and basically emotionless. That's until you found him. Once you had him back in your arms, you absolutely broke down in tears and emotions, and rightfully so.

Spencer is still withdrawn from people to this day, including you. Even though you're dating, you feel as though he's becoming a stranger again.

The team finally has a day off, so you're at Spencer's small and old-looking apartment, just to be with him. He's sitting in a chair, cross-legged reading a book, and you're sitting on the couch doing the same, periodically looking up at him to watch him.

You've had a headache all day but now it's getting too hard to deal with.

"Spencer?" He looks up from his book when you call his name. "You have Tylenol, right?"

"Mhm. In the bathroom."

He looks back down at his book and lightly bites the tip of his nails. You give him a small concerning look then make your way to his bathroom that's connected to his room. You sigh then open the medicine cabinet and see the exact bottles of Dilaudid that Tobias had. Your eyes widen immediately; suddenly everything makes sense. His withdrawn behaviour, his weird spacing out, him being temperamental easily...

You hear loud and fast footsteps and see Spencer reach the bathroom with a very panicked then guilty look on his face. You hold one of the bottles in your hand as you stare at him.

"Spencer?" you say slowly. "What are you doing to yourself?" you ask just above a whisper, your voice starting to waver. Your soft yet concerned words hit him at his core. He stands in the doorway, one hand holding the door frame, his voice shaking as he speaks.

"I...I can explain..." he says, his tone pleading as he locks eyes with yours.

"Then explain," you say softly, your voice still laced with shock and disbelief. Spencer swallows sharply and his lips part as if he was going to speak, his mind trying to find the right lie. A few seconds later, he gives up, lets go of the wall, and takes a few steps closer. He looks down at the ground and sounds like he could cry at any moment.

"The pain, both physical and emotional...it's overwhelming," he pauses. "Two full days of it. Of that..."

He points to the bottle of liquid in your hand.

"I didn't want to have to be without it and have all of the pain hit me at once. I...wanted to be numb to it."

His breath hitches.

"It's too difficult to be without..." His voice trails off, low and tinged with shame.

All of the emotions you felt when the team finally found him come rushing back to you. Your breath catches in your throat and you lunge forward, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug as some tears roll down your cheeks. You want to speak, say that everything will be okay, but you can't. Nothing will come out.

"Spencer...." You manage to say, your voice very shaky and quiet. He closes his eyes and melts into the embrace, a small trembling sigh escaping his lips. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, feeling a tear slowly slide down your neck to your chest.

"I....I didn't know what else to do," he whispers, his voice breaking slightly. "I just wanted it to stop. The pain, the memories..."

"I know, I know," you whisper reassuringly. Your hand rubs up and down his back slowly and protectively as you feel a few more tears on your neck. Your heart is completely breaking. You lean back slowly and hold his face gently in both of your hands, wiping the tears away with your thumbs and give him your best smile.

"As long as I'm here, you'll be okay. I love you," you reassure him, your shaky voice calming down a little. You bring his face a bit lower and kiss his lips very softly to show him you're not going anywhere, that you'll always love him. He rests his forehead on yours, your breath mingling with his as he savors the comfort your embrace brings. Your eyes open slightly and you hold his hands in both of yours firmly. He's wearing a long sleeve sweater so you can't see his bare arm, but you feel an intense feeling in the pit of your stomach at the thought of what it looks like. You look up into his eyes and give him another smile.

"It's not too often, is it?" you ask quietly. He hesitates for a moment, his gaze shifting to the side. The guilt and shame still lingers on his face.

"It started small... just a few times a week... but then it got worse." he takes a deep breath, his voice wavering slightly. "Now, I can't go a day without it. I...I need it. I don't know what to do."

He looks back at you, his eyes pleading for help, yet fearful of judgement. You take his face in your hands again, looking into his eyes with understanding.

"We'll get through this together. I'll always be here for you just like you are for me. I promise."

You kiss his lips once more then pull him in for a gentle and warm embrace. He takes a deep breath and hugs you back, resting his head on your shoulder.

"Okay," he whispers.

All of these one shots are going to be the reader as an agent unless there's a request for something different.