Long Sleeves - Emily x Male Reader (Hazbin Hotel)

Cause of Death: Too Much Laughter - Chapter 2

Heaven!

Now who wouldn't want to be in Heaven?

It's fucking Heaven, right? It's THE PLACE you'd wanna go to, yeah? Eternal paradise and pure souls living in harmony, correct?

Well, Y/N knew first-hand that Heaven laughably had almost as many problems as Hell.

Firstly, the Divine aspects of Heaven were a complete mystery, even to the angels, so whatever goes goes. It doesn't take a genius to see the flaws in this method, however; what if this Divine power wasn't as all-loving as it seemed? Y/N wasn't one to question said Divine power unless it smote him into nothingness, but Heaven was most definitely flawed.

There were the superiority complexes, the exterminations that Y/N swore on his life that most of Heaven didn't even know about, and there were the people in charge below the Divine power of mystery.

A lot of the angels that Y/N had met, especially those that he had duelled with, were not the radiant beams of hope they were outlined to be.

The worst offender he had met, however, by a country mile, was Sera.

Oh boy, Sera. Y/N had never encountered a being that loathed him quite as much. Even Lucifer seemed mostly indifferent to Y/N in court (he seemed pretty out of it altogether, but the point stands). Sera had venom, spite - a distaste for Y/N in her mouth that she just couldn't wash out. She led the charge against his sealing, she ultimately decided his fate in the Holy Court, and she had given Y/N a couple good scars in battle that didn't seem like they were going to heal any time soon.

At the end of the day, though, the most infuriating part of it all was that Y/N never got to ask why she hated him. He knew she feared him. That was easy to tell. And, of course, there is the whole threatening reality shtick. But it wasn't like Y/N did anything personal to her. Most of those nine years were spent pondering: is revenge against her worth it? Y/N could realistically topple Heaven if he so chose, but a lot of good people wound up here for a reason. They didn't deserve to be caught in the crossfire.

Regardless, the worst thing he could do was let her see him.

Also regardless of Sera and the many flaws of Heaven, you could not deny that it was beautiful. Wow did he miss the sights this place had to see!

??? - "Here he is! Hey, fuck-nuggets!"

This is the part of Heaven he didn't miss. Trying his best to put on the most obedient and pure act he could, Y/N turned slowly and held out his arms similar to a preacher.

Y/N - "Blessed morning to you both~! How can I be of divine service to you today?"

??? - "The only service you'll be doing is to Hell's throbbing cock you little bitch!"

Y/N - "... have we met?"

The mere question seemed to set the man off into a rage that could only be human. It was at this moment Y/N got a good look at him; he donned a coat similar to Y/N's, though a little more well-kept and dickish, an exorcist mask with custom embellishments of gold to match his golden wings and halo. This guy probably looked important. Let's mess with him.

Adam - "Wha- What?! I'm fucking ADAM! The first man Adam? The dick to start all dicks Adam?!"

Y/N - "Oh. Charmed, you ooze as much charisma as Genesis wrote you out to have."

Adam - "We've been sent to kick your ass out of Heaven. You can either leave yourself, or I'll thundercunt you out myself-"

Y/N - "Hahaha, my goodness! What a word! Is the big boy reading his big boy books and learning big boy words?"