Bound by Shadows ©️

Lila King

I wake up in a cold sweat, my heart racing, my breath coming in ragged gasps. The room is shrouded in darkness but the memories linger, haunting me like shadows in the night. I try to push them away, to bury them deep down where they can never resurface, but they refuse to be silenced.

Thoughts swirl in my mind, fragmented and chaotic. I grasp at them desperately, trying to hold on to something, anything, that will ground me in reality. But it's like trying to catch smoke with my bare hands, slipping through my fingers with each futile attempt. I see him, the man who was supposed to protect me, but instead, he became my worst nightmare. His face is twisted with cruelty, his hands stained with sins that cannot be washed away.

I can feel the weight of his gaze on me, a gaze that strips away my innocence and leaves me feeling exposed and vulnerable. I hear his voice, mocking and cruel, as he taunts me with his vile words. But it's not just him. There are others, shadows lurking in the darkness, faces blurred and indistinct. They leer at me with hungry eyes, their hands reaching out to touch me in ways that make my skin crawl. I try to scream, but no sound escapes my lips. I am trapped. I am trapped. Again. Again. I can feel the suffocating grip of fear tightening around me, threatening to consume me whole.

And then, just as suddenly as it began, I wake up, my body drenched in sweat, my heart pounding in my chest.
I lie there for a moment, the silence of the night pressing in around me, trying to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions coursing through me.

Another nightmare, again. I wipe the tears off my face and release a sigh. The clock on the nightstand shows 7:56 AM. The room is still, save for the soft hum of the air conditioner and the distant sound of a passing car. I might as well wake up. Not waiting to waste any thoughts of what just happened, I drift my mind to my day schedule. God I hate Mondays.
I have three classes today. Criminal law first, then civil procedures, and finally, legal ethics. The irony is not lost on me. Studying law should bring a sense of justice, of order. Instead, it keeps dredging up memories l'd rather forget. But I have to push through. I need to understand, to protect others, to make sure no one else falls victim to... people like him.
I throw back the covers and sit on the edge of the bed, feeling the cool floor beneath my feet. A quick shower should help clear my mind. I walk to the bathroom, each step deliberate, a small act of defiance against the remnants of fear that cling to me.

The hot water cascades over me, washing away the cold sweat, easing the tension in my muscles. For a few moments, I feel almost normal. But as I reach for the towel and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, reality crashes back in. I see the faint outline of bruises on my back, a silent reminder of the past I try so hard to escape. I quickly wrap the towel around me, shutting out the sight, but not the memory.
I dress quickly, pulling on jeans and a sweater, trying to cover up, trying to feel safe. My books are scattered on the desk, and I gather them up, slipping them into my bag. Each one is a stepping stone towards a future where I am in control, where I can make a difference. I have to believe that.

_________________

"Leah, where the fuck have you been?!" I run up to her as I see her in the library next to Jason. He eyes me up and down before walking away, his expression unreadable.
"Lila? Oh, hi," she says nervously, her eyes darting around the room. "Don't fucking 'oh hi' me. Where have you been? I've been worried sick! Everything got—"
She cuts me off, "I'm okay, Lila. I'm so sorry. I just ended up making out with some random girl and we lost track of time—"

"You promised me you wouldn't leave me alone," I say, my voice cracking a little with the betrayal I feel. The harsh fluorescent lights of the library cast a stark glow on her face, highlighting the guilt in her eyes. The hushed whispers of other students and the faint rustling of pages seem to amplify my anger.
"I'm so sorry, Lila. I just thought you had it under control and I mean you're fine," she says, trying to reassure me, but it falls flat.
You don't know that, I say to myself, feeling the weight of her abandonment settle in my chest. "It's not okay," I reply, the frustration and hurt evident in my voice. "You have no idea what I went through. The things I saw... I needed you, Leah."

She looks at me, guilt and regret mingling on her face. The smell of old books and the quiet murmur of the library create a stark contrast to the turmoil inside me. "I know, I messed up. I'm so sorry, Lila. I never meant to leave you like that. I should have been there."
I take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions swirling inside me. "The good thing is that we are both okay," I finally say, my voice softening. "But you can't do that to me again. I need to know I can count on you."
Leah nods, her eyes earnest. "You can. I promise. I won't let you down again."

I look at her, searching her face for any sign of insincerity, but all I see is genuine remorse. "Alright," I say, my tone gentler now. "Anyways, I need to catch you up on what happened yesterday."
We walk off together, the tension easing between us. The sounds of students studying, the soft thud of books being placed on tables, and the distant hum of the air conditioner become a comforting backdrop as we make our way to a quiet corner. I start to recount the events of the previous day, feeling a sense of relief that despite everything, we're still in this together.