The bet

38. Admitting

Joel

I kissed her. 

She was looking at me with those shining hazel eyes and I couldn't resist the desire to get a taste from her. She was looking at me with her lips parted and her cheeks were flushed, her beautiful face was shining under the dim light.

She looked like a goddess, and I was completely at her mercy.

I lost. 
I lost the fucking bet.

But I didn't think of the bet or anything else when I kissed her. My brain was quiet and calm.
It felt like she was mine for a minute and I could touch and kiss her as much as I wanted. 
It felt like my soul found peace.

But then all of it shattered to pieces when I remembered who she was.
My enemy.

She made me lose my own self control. But it was the most beautiful loss of self control.
Kissing her is the most amazing thing ever and I would never regret doing it, even if it means that I lost the bet. 

I told her that I didn't lose the bet and that it's not over because she kissed me back.
I didn't tell her that because of my ego, but because if the bet is over, she won't come close to me again. And I won't go near her again or flirt with her again, because there is no bet to justify our actions.  
If the bet is gone, she would be gone to.

She can't be out of my life like that, I can't take it. I can't stay away from her. I need her close to me even if she's only doing it for the bet. 

I'm not used to this feeling, I never liked someone this much...or loved.

I'm very confused. And her kissing me back confuses me even more.
Cuz why would she kiss me back? She kissed me like she wanted it as much as I did.
She pulled me closer to herself and held me tightly. But why? If it's all for the bet, why would she kiss me back like that? Why did she held me like she didn't want to let me go?

I wish that she could like me...even for just a little bit. 
I wish she could see me more than just her enemy.

But that won't ever happen. 
The devil is born to be hated not the opposite.

''What are you thinking about?" someone whispers on my ear and I open my eyes.
I'm still at the party, I sat down at this couch after I left Olivia at that room.

I turn my head and glance at the girl sitting next to me.
She has blonde hair and brown eyes.

I don't like this girl's eyes, Olivia's are prettier.

''My name is Ophelia.'' the girl smiles, ''What's yours?''
''Joel.'' I say looking at her and she smiles showing her teeth.

I could use this girl as a distraction to forget Olivia, Olivia's eyes, Olivia's lips, Olivia's taste.
Every time Olivia takes over my mind, I need another thing to distract me from her or else I can't stop myself from wanting to go and do a stupid thing that I would probably regret later.
But it never works, Olivia never leaves my mind, not a single time, and no girl could replace her.  

But I always try. Like a helpless person. 
I always try to get Olivia out of my mind and return to the man I was before I met her. 

''What are you doing here alone, Joel?" the I-don't-remember-her-name girl says touching my arm.
''I'm not alone, you're here with me.'' I get closer to her, and she giggles.
Her giggle gets on my nerves.

She leans in to kiss me and at the minute she is dragged away from me.

I look up and surprise hits me as I see Olivia in front of me.
She grabbed the girl from her hair and threw her at the ground.