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CHAPTER TEN;
confessions to thy mother
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Pacing the hall outside of her room wouldn't make her come out, Eloise knew. In fact, her anxiety was most likely working against her, as she suspected that if Daisy was going to exit her own determined exile, she wouldn't do it while some starry eyed girl was pacing the floor outside of the door. She knew it was irrational and stupid, but she hated fighting with Ophelia. She would bite her tongue if she had to, marry herself off to some less-than-perfect human if need be, she just needed to see the girl's face.
"Dearest?" A voice called, snapping Eloise from her daze. Violet Bridgerton stood at the end of the corridor, smoothing her dress down as she smiled at her child. "Shall we take a break from this, enjoy some tea in the garden?" She offered, extending her hand out in invitation.
With a fleeting look back at Ophelia's door, Eloise breathed a huff of air. She knew it was irrational and unhealthy, but she didn't wish to leave. An hour or two, though, would not change anything. "Dearest?" Violet prompted.
Eloise turned to her mother, plastering a fake smile on her lips. "That sounds lovely, Mama".
"Now, I understand that I don't always understand all parts of your life, dearest, but I am always here if there is anything to discuss," Violet said, as she breathed in the fresh air, relishing the scent of the flowers in bloom. Eloise sat sloughed to her right, fiddling with her teacup.
"I doubt you would understand," Eloise said stubbornly, in a low voice. "But take no offence. Most people wouldn't".
Setting her teacup down on the small table, Violet shuffled in her chair to face her daughter more. "I have raised eight exceptional children over a timespan of many years. I know love and loss and scandal and heartbreak. I know more than you think, Eloise".
Glancing up at her mother, Eloise could see that that was true. She was a well shaped woman, her mother, full of wisdom and kindness and knowledge. She was not a simple mindling like the rest of time, though Eloise did not envy her life. But she just wasn't sure she would understand this.
"If you do not wish to marry this season, that would be alright," Violet continued, settling back in her chair, "I understand. You have very high expectations, and you should. You deserve the very best of this life, Eloise. However, I do think you would thrive in married life, without the rules and regulations that society has for an unmarried woman. I do, I think you would thrive, with the right man".
"I do want a man," Eloise said bluntly.
"Because the majority of them lack what you excel in with knowledge, or because they lack in every other department?" Violet said candidly, causing Eloise to whip her head around to her, unsure if she had heard her mama correctly. "I talk to my children," Violet said defensively, to Eloise's wide eyes, "I know all about Benedict's adventures, though sometimes I wish I did not".
"You know about Benedict?" Eloise asked, in utter shock of her mother's undoubted understanding.
"I do. I know things too, Eloise,"
Falling back against her chair, Eloise shook her head. "She will not speak to me," She said lowly, fiddling with her dress, and refusing to make eye contact with her mother.
"Pacing out in front of her room probably isn't the best way to coax her out," Violet said, "Perhaps writing to her? Slip the letter under her door, allow her to come to you?"
"You would allow that? Me and her?" Eoise asked, still confused at her mother's undying understanding. She seriously thought this would go another way.
"Marrying a man is safer, and what I still wish for you," Violet said, Eloise making a face, "But you cannot deny your emotions. I think it wise to make peace with her before the season's end. I do not wish to deal with the stormy cloud you will become if you do not".
"I do not become a stormy cloud".
"You do, dearest, and it is not fun for anyone in the house".
Folding her arms over her chest, Eloise thought about what her mother said. A letter was a smart idea, but would she have enough paper for all her thoughts? She would have to scout some more.
