Love Trials

CHAPTER 31-FALLING APART

(A/N Please excuse the mistakes, I haven't edited it yet)

I've finally returned home, after a lot of convincing from my boyfriend, pleading from my brother, rants from my best friends and of course apologies from my parents. Actually, I returned home like a week ago.

Today is another depressing day for me. Me and Harold haven't been together or seeing each other in 4 whole days. I've been trying to reach out to him asking what is happening to us and he just keeps on telling me that he's busy.

I guess he's too busy for me. I thought when you love someone you will give time for them. Maybe this is just one-sided love and with the thought of that makes me lose my appetite again.

I am in front of mouth-watering foods but I just couldn't bring myself to eat.

"I'm not that hungry anymore"- I told my mother who is devouring her steak graciously. She looks at me worriedly.

My dad isn't home yet because they had an emergency meeting at work.

"You have eat, you're barely eating these past few days"- My mom stated, which was true.

I drag the chair backwards as I am rising from it. "I lost my appetite mom"- I said then simply walk out, heading towards my room.

As I slam the door shut, I haven't even made it to bed.Tears are already descending from my eyes. It seems like they are in control and it angers me even more.

What the hell is wrong with us? Did I do anything wrong? Am I not enough?

I need answers!

I want answers!

So I followed my instinct and called Harold.

"Sapphire"- he says my name in acknowledgement. What happened to the hello's and Hi's?

"What the hell is wrong with us!?"- I yelled over the phone.

"What are you talking about? Nothing's wrong"- he said coolly, but his voice void of any sort of emotion.

Tears kept falling.

"W-what's happening to u-us?" - I ask stuttering, while my voice shaking because of crying.

"We're still the same"- he simply said, but his voice has this emotion I can't seem to figure out. Concern?

"You're hurting me. You promised! Y-you pr-promised not to h-hurt m-me!" -I screamed sobbing onto my phone, the tears never stopped.

"I need to go. Talk to you soon"- he said timidly.

"I w-wish you just kill m-me. S-stab my heart. T-trust me i-it hurts more than that"- I said lowly, but my voice was full of venom. And I meant every word. Then I hung up.

***

Nathan, Amanda and sometimes Brent visits me to make sure my well-being is alright. Its been a day since the call H and I shared, but tom it felt more than just a day.

Amanda sigh, "Just please cheer up, or at least just smile, not for me but for you. You've been like that for almost a week and I just hate seeing you like that."

I know, I wanted to tell her but I just can't seem to my voice to simply reply.

I have hurt a lot of people, and I know I've been so selfish about not caring about their life because I'm just here sulking inside my room for God knows how long. I just can't bring myself to say 'Everything is alright' when its clearly not.

I looked at her and I offer her one of my best and fake smile, that other people seem to but I somehow know that she isn't buying it and can look beyond my smile, she is my best friend after all.

Then the door of my room suddenly open revealing a cheery Nathan.

"Hey guys!"- he greeted cheerfully.

I just look at him then nodded, still not wanting to respond.

He sighs when he realize that I'm still in the same state and condition. I am functioning very well- I am really hurt and I just can't smile at least not right now. I'm still like the other days he visited lonely, depressed, and heart-broken.

My feelings are once too strong that it is now so terrifying to me.

My thoughts suddenly drifted to a certain someone. Harold. I reminisced the once happy memories and perfect relationship we had, and I can't help but shed a few tears.

"Please stop crying"- Nathan pleaded as he places his hand on top of mine for comfort.

"This is so not fair! I feel li-like crap a-and t-this love is h-hurting me! M-My asshole of a b-boyfriend is nowhere t-to be f-found and I am so broken, that it frustrates the sh-shit out of me!

They both fell silent because of my sudden outburst, also giving me time to let all this pain out- even if its just temporary.

"Please make this s-stop!" I ordered while yelling, pain evident on my tone. "B-bring he b-back to me, I can't live without him"

I sniff.

Control yourself Sapphire! Bring that stupid temper of yours down!

"I don't know how"- Nathan said so soft that I have to scoot near him to be able to hear what he was saying.

"I don't need this freaking pain anymore! Kill me now. Its hurting me so bad."- I said as I wipe the alredy falling tears from my cheeks.

"We know"- both of them said in unison.

"H-he l-lied. He s-said h-he wouldn't hurt me. He s-said he will not ever leave me."

Both of them gave me side hugs, I buried my face to my palm, "We're falling apart. I'm falling apart"- I said softly, as new set of tears stream down my face.

"Everything that once made m happy. Everything is falling apart"

**********************************************

*sniff sniff*

Heart breaking chapter? I know right, I shed a few tears too. Well hi guys! Have a blessed Sunday. This the second update for today. I'm really sorry for the long wait. Well, today I just want to say that I'm not sure if I can update for this week because summative exams are coming up and I need to study.

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hugs and kisses,

shaniah