The winter breeze bites at my cheeks as walked in the busy bustling street of Quebec. My bonnet offers some warmth, but the cold still seeps in. Bawat buga ko nang hininga ay lamig ng usok ang lumalabas. My lips were freezing. It's cold here because it's already Christmas season.
My winter coat hugs my body, shielding me from the chill, but I can feel the frosty air sneaking through the gaps. The snow crunches under my feet, covering my shoes with each step. In my hand, I hold a plastic bag. Inside, there are books I just bought from the bookstore. It's an architecture books. Kailangan ko pag aralan para sa final exam namin next week. Even though may alam na rin ako, kailangan ko parin mag basa para siguradong pasado. I choose this course because this is my course that I choose daw. I like it naman. It's cool.
Lumiko ako sa kanan at saka dumeretso sa pangatlong bahay. It's our house here in Canada. Only me and my Mom were living here. Nasa Pinas si Daddy doing his business there. I don't know why they want to be separated. Ayaw ni Mommy na umuwi ng Philippines kaya si Daddy na ang bumibisita dito samin not to stay but to see me. Ewan ko ba. Kahit hindi nila sabihan ay alam ko hindi sila magkasundo ni Mommy. They acted like they are but no. Ayaw lang nila sakin ipakita. I don't have a choice but to act innocent. Hindi ko ba alam bakit parang pakiramdam ko ay parang alam ko na na ewan. It's weird na hindi ako nasasaktan o nakakaramdam man lang ng lungkot para sa magulang ko. Hay.
"Where have you been? it's already eight, naglakad ka lang?" bungad sakin ni Mommy matapos ako pagbuksan ng pinto sabay sara nang makapasok ako.
I took off my coat and put it in the wall hanger beside the door. Inalis ko na rin ang sapatos ko at nilagay ito sa lalagyan sa katabi lang rin ng pintuan.
"Mom, malapit lang naman ang store," sagot ko habang naglalakad patungo sa kitchen namin. I put the plastic on the table. Mom followed me from behind.
"Kahit na. Mahirap na may mangyari ulit sa'yo," she said and fixed my hair. Pinaupo niya ako sa upuan at binigyan ng croissant na nasa small plate then she get a hot coffee on the coffee machine.
Ganyan siya. Maalalahanin. Para bang napaka protective. I feel like she's spoiling me with care like a kid. Pag aalis ako dapat alam niya and hindi dapat ako umalis ng gabi. She don't want me to go out with friends at night. Kung sa umaga naman dapat hindi pa dumidilim nakauwi na ako. Nasanay na lamang ako at tinanggap na ganun talaga si Mommy. Well, it's a mother love. I mean. She's like that because I got in coma for over 1 year. For over 3 years naging maalalahanin na sakin si Mommy. It's been 3 years now. Wala man lang ako maalala kung pano ako na aksidente. I feel like something big part of my memories were gone and I'm looking for it but I found nothing.
Mom told me I got an amnesia. From a car accident. And some of my memories were gone. Ang tanging naalala ko lang ay yung umuwi ako ng Siargao at nagsisigaw sa dalampasigan mag isa. It's because of Falcon. That jerk. Hangang doon lang. Pero pilit ko parin napanaginipan ang mga iba't ibang pangyayari na hindi ko maintindihan o maipaliwanag. Sabi ng doctor ay it takes a years to get my memories back or pwede hindi na. Dahil sa impact ng damage daw sa brain ko. My parents were worried daw that time dahil nag 50-50 raw buhay ko. But here I am. Still living what I am. Meron parin ako iniinom na gamot at every month ay pinapatignan ako ni mommy sa doctor which is my uncle here. Wala naman bago. Sabi ay ipatuloy ko lang ang pag inom hangang sa mawala ang pananakit ng ulo ko. Yes. It's still hurting pero minsan lang. Pag may bigla pumapasok sa isip ko at may bigla naalala pero malabo maalala. Hirap ipaliwanag.
I took a bite of the bread, "What's your decision, Mom? uuwi ba tayo?" I asked.
Huminto siya sa ginagawa at parang pinag-isipan ang sinabi ko. "Hm, do you really want to stay there? pwede naman tayo pumunta sa italy. Nandun ang Tita mo. We can stay there,"
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