"I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow, it only feels like yesterday when you told me" Mare cried. Maredith was probably one of the few friends I did have. Her father also works as a firefighter, Alongside my father. Mare's eyes always reminded me of the sky. They always shimmered, and of course those baby blues were strikingly a favorite with the boys. When my mom died, I had dinner everyday with Mare's family til it was time to leave. Sometimes I did wish I was their daughter. Mare had everything I could want.
A loving family.
I did envy her for that. But, with her in my life I always felt apart of the family.
"I know, I guess I'm not surprised that my dad doesn't want me. You know, sometimes I wonder what life would be like if he never drank to begin with. " I told her as I kicked a small black stone to the left. We had just reached my house, since Mare agreed to help me pack up my things. Sarah turned out to have known my mother for ages. They went to high-school together, and in my mom's yearbook I noticed they were more so like best friends. I know distance separated them, but even then they always seen each other.
"Sarah bought me a plane ticket." I whispered to Mare as I opened the door. She followed closely behind, rushing to the stairs hoping to avoid my dad.
"Em is that you?" Words got stuck in my throat, choking to get them out. I nodded to Mare, hopping she understood to go upstairs without me. Mare slowly crept upstairs, and I proceeded to walk into the dining room. My dad looked rough, the bags under his eyes never went away. "There you are, I wanted to tell you I will be gone til Tuesday." He finished his bagel off as he looked at me, waiting for a response.
"Alright, can Mare stay over then?" Mare only stayed over once in the entire eight years I've known her. Not that I didn't want her to, but because of my dad. When my mom died my dad was at the bar, she wasn't supposed to be there. But I snuck her in, I didn't want to be alone. It was the same night she helped me get my dad from the bar. It was the one night I heard my dad cry so hard. He missed her, even after everything he did to her. I kept hearing him mutter I'm sorry as I drove under the stop lights. Mare looked at me, I knew by then she figured everything out. She didn't question me, and she didn't even ask me about it. I liked that, it was the same day I decided she was going to be my best friend.
And she was.
"Yea, don't forget your plane leaves tomorrow at six in the morning." He grabbed his phone from the counter and walked slowly out of the room. I took a breath before I went to my room. My dad always made me nervous, I never knew if he was gonna treat me the same way he did my mom. Its a lot more terrifying when you don't know what's coming for you. But then again you never do.
"Hey Mare, I don't know if you're busy tonight but I asked my dad if you could stay over and he said yes." I happily said, she was laid out on my bed typing away at her phone. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at me. Her teeth were as white as the stars. I grinned back before I hopped next to her on the bed. Both kicking our feet back and forth in sync.
"Of course, I can help you pack something sexy." She laughed out, as she poked my cheek. Mare wasn't shy, I loved that she wasn't. I always hoped she would be the one to get me out of my shell. But, turns out she likes the shell I live in.
"Yeah, okay. Mare you know I don't have it in me to be sexy" I may have gave her little jazz hands as I said that. It was true though. I was never the one to go all out, it wasn't because I was shy. I just hated my body, I felt like it wasn't shaped right. Or maybe my thighs are too big? My smile was crooked, my teeth weren't all one hundred percent straight. I was shook from my thoughts as Mare held my shoulders.
"Alright, Em. You have to stop over thinking. I told you the goal I want you to accomplish. What was it Em?"
"To love myself as I am" I mumbled shrugging her hands from my shoulders.
"I couldn't hear you Em, what was that?"
"LOVE MYSELF!" I shouted, Mare had a huge toothy grin settled on her face. She wondered to my closet, taking a peek inside. I sat on the other side of my bed closer to her, and I just watched. Soon my bag was packed, I didn't even have to lift a finger. I gave her a small smile, as she finished zipping my bag close.
"There." Hand on her hip, I always told her she reminded me of my mother the way she talks, the loyalty she has towards me. I liked that, but it also became depressing at times. "I can't believe you are leaving tomorrow. I don't know what I'll do without you" Mare exclaimed. She sat on my bed and laid back, her hair spread out across my black sheets. My room was empty for the most part. I didn't put much effort into my room. I didn't find much interest in hobbies, unless you count sleeping as one. I didn't find joy in most things anymore. I just wasn't-- I guess happy? I looked over to my nightstand and stared at the time. It was nine o'clock. I knew if I wanted to be up on time I would have to get ready for bed.
"Mare, I got to go to sleep if I'm gonna get up early. Plane leaves at six."
"Yeah, I'll go take a shower and get dressed. Then we can head to bed, I'll drive you to the airport in the morning."
