The new school year started tomorrow, I still felt unhappy about going. It was hard enough to go to therapy as it was. I didn't talk to anyone the first few weeks after I was discharged. I just slept, day in and day out. Addie visited me in my room, she just sat there. She knew I didn't want to talk, she knew I needed company. So in the way I needed her, she was there. Most of the time Aristotle sat with me, it started at night once my night terrors kicked in. He said that can be another side effect when having PTSD. Aristotle and I had grown closer after the whole attempt. Everywhere I went or needed to go, I wouldn't ask anyone else but Ari to come with me. He stepped up when everything went down, and only he understood me one hundred percent. Ari only suddenly became distant once the school year came closer. I thought I could lean on him when it came to me needing help. But, I knew I had to deal with it on my own. I just wish I had someone on my team again.
I stared at my empty diary. Addie got it for me, I knew it was really Ari's idea. But Addie felt less then Ari when I clung to him instead of her. I felt bad, because over anyone I would always choose Ari. My therapist said writing was good for me to let any feelings I had out. To write them as if I was addressing my feelings head on. What he didn't know was I didn't want to address any problems. I just wanted to ignore them til they went away. Aristotle told me that was ignorant, he also said I need to be a big girl and go to therapy. Ari also didn't know I had my own trauma. So much was building up, and I just wanted to break away from it.
"Em?" I heard a soft voice speak my name. Looking up from the empty pages, Addi stood. She had a basket of clothes in her hands, concerned look on her face. "Are you okay? You didn't eat dinner, mom and Ari was worried."
My lips parted slowly, as if I was going to respond. Almost after they parted, they closed just as fast. I didn't have an excuse to not go, I just wasn't hungry. Honestly, with school being tomorrow I wasn't sure if I ever was going to be okay.
"I'm okay Addi, I'm just worried about tomorrow. What if I see him tomorrow?" After what happened the first day I got here, I never got justice. He's freed. Making matters even worse, he goes to our school. Addi sat her basket down in the door way and made her way to me. She sat on the opposite side of my bed, grabbing my hand.
"You have us to protect you. He isnt allowed to talk to you, and if he does he breaks his probation. If he does he goes to jail. Hades and Ari will be the muscles, then me? I'm the brains, we got you Em. You are strong." I smiled at her words, squeezing her hand. A small creak sound came from my door, we both looked over and seen Ari with a plate in his hands. Addi sighed as she stood up holding a small smirk on her face. "That's my cue to get out, I'll see you in the morning Em. Goodnight Ari." Addi smiled at us before she rushed off to her bedroom, I didn't give Ari the satisfaction of me being happy that he was here. I shifted on the side of my bed, grabbing my bracelet that dangled on my wrist. Ari got it for me, to remind me I am strong.
"Em, are you mad at me?" Ari asked, I looked into his eyes. He didn't seem to have any emotion settled on his face. He looked plain, his eyes soften as he stared into mine. He just got his hair done earlier this morning, the sides shave down into a fade. The top of his hair was slightly trimmed, still able to touch his forehead. He wore plaid black and white pj bottoms, I couldn't help but glance over his body as he stood there.
"No, tomorrow is school. I'm just worrying." I stated, standing up. I walked over to my closet picking clothes. I watched Ari through my mirror next to my closet, he closed the door behind him. Ari stepped forward til he was directly behind me. His hand reached up and moved my hair from my neck. The slightest touch from him, burned into my skin. He too was watching me, making eye contact as he touched me. He leaned forward and placed a small kiss on my collarbone, then whispered into my ear.
"You are strong Em..." His kisses alongside my neck never left. The burning sensation felt like home. My heart felt like it was leaping over the moon and back. I turned from my closet, and faced him. A small smirked appeared against his lips, I reached for his arm and softly stroked it. Not breaking our eye contact. He leaned forward, hand pushing my hair from my cheek to behind my ears. After adjusting my hair to his liking, he left it sitting on my face. Ari's finger slipped to my chin, he lifted my head upwards before he leaned forward and place a kiss on my lips. It was soft, but yet you could taste his craving for me. The rush of the kiss showed his eagerness, longing, the lust. It wasn't our first kiss together, wasn't going to be our last either. What I felt when I was with Ari, was complete safety and insurance. I felt complete, hole, and not alone. His smile brought light when I had my dark days. His kiss, it brought back everything I tried to hide. Because, I didn't seem worthy, nor did I feel worthy for him.
He didn't deserve me.
Ari deserves better than me.
