Needless to say, I never fell asleep. My mind was racing, and my heart felt like it was squeezing everytime I took a breath. All while my stomach kept doing flips, I thought I would get sick.
"Mare are you awake?" I whispered to my left, Mare had wiggled a bit in the bed before she turned to look at me.
"Yea I couldn't sleep, you?"
"Yea."
We both looked up at my ceiling. It was probably the only thing I did put effort into. I had maybe one hobby, which I never did anymore after my mom died.
Photography.
My mom said I was pretty good at it, she loved my photos. Sometimes I thought she loved them more then me. My ceiling held every photo I took, from bad to worse it was up there. I had Mare and I from when we were ten. We both had chocolate frosting on our nose. I smiled as I stared at every picture. Mare was the star of almost every single photo I had. She was my number one. I loved her dearly, even better that we shared a birthday. I frowned at the thought of our birthdays. I wasn't going to be here with her, our first one apart.
"Mare?"
"Yea Em?"
"What about our birthday? I don't want to do it without you." I whispered, Mare stood up and grabbed a pair of her clothes from my dresser.
"Well, I don't know Em. Maybe we can figure something out when it gets there? Let's get you up and into the shower while you're awake." She finished getting dressed. I liked her style of clothes, it suited her. Her white cropped shirt brought out the color of her eyes.
"Alright Mare, I'm going." I sat up in bed, tossing my legs to the side. My body ached, I felt more tired than I usually do. I slipped out of my bed and towards my bathroom. One of the lights were out on the mirror, I sighed as I opened our closet grabbing the extra bulb. I turned the shower on, and I stood in front of the mirror. I studied myself, I didn't feel anything. I just hated how I was built. Just made me think about how much I look like my mom. No wonder my dad wanted me out, besides the money. I looked away and I stepped inside. My head went under the water, I let the streams wonder down my face. Nothing was more peaceful then a hot shower in silence. I moved from under the shower head and began to wash up. I knew I had a long day ahead of me.
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"Em, you ready to go?" Mare asked as she popped her head in the door way. I was just sorting through my photos from my ceiling. I decided to split them and give half to Mare and I'll keep the other half for myself.
"Yeah, here Mare" I stood up and grabbed the first pile of photos. "I want you to have this half. I'll keep my half. I don't want you to forget about me" I laughed out, giving here a little wink. Mare chuckled before she gave me a little side hug.
"I'll never forget your face Em. Come on let's go to the car. I got the rest of your bags in there already." The drive to the airport wasn't as long as I wanted it to be. Apart of me felt torn inside, not only was I leaving the only town I had memories of my mother. But I was also leaving my best friend, I knew she would find new friends and move on without me. But I was worried about myself. Was I gonna be able to move on and make new friends? Would I even be happy here? I knew the first thing I wanted to ask Sarah was, how come I never heard about her? My dad knew about Sarah, but when he told me he made it seem like they were no longer close.
"Who is Sarah Dad? You're willing to ship me off to some woman I don't even know for money? What kind of father are yo--" I didn't finish my last word, the sound of echos traveled the room. I held my cheek and stared at my father.
"She was your moms best friend. So your mother gave her guardianship over to her once she died. So without the money Sarah would fight to have you move with her because thats what your mother wanted! I didn't want to spend a dime on you to have custody when I don't even want you in the first place." I stared into his eyes, I wasn't shocked at all. He was never going to be the same loving father I once had, its only better for me to accept that than to continue waiting for him to change.
"I sit here everyday hoping after moms death you would change. You are a terrible person, I truly hate you. Mom did nothing but love you. She loved you so much that it KILLED her. YOU KILLED HER. " I shouted out at him, my finger stayed pointed at him. "I will NEVER forgive you. You took her away from me. Yet you get to be sad? You are the reason she thought killing herself would free her from you. We all know why she wrote FREE in her own blood. Get a grip and get some help before its too late. Because as far as it concerns me, you're on your own."
The car finally stopped moving, I didn't turn my head to look around much. I knew the area pretty well. Mare stared at the airport and didn't say much to me. I knew this was new to her. I hated that I had to leave her, but where things end, new things grow. It was my turn to grow.
"I got this Mare. I'll text you once I'm settled in. If I don't text by tomorrow send the troops okay?" I laughed out, Mare giggled with me as we gave each other our very last hug til we see each other again.
"I love you Em, I will stand by with the troops. We will ride at dawn!" She laughed out, i got out the car and grabbed my remaining bags from her truck. A loud sigh was heard next to me, Mare was staring off at the airport.
"I don't want you to leave Em."
"I know Mare. But, who knows. I might be better off here?"
"I know, I know. But I still need you here...you know what I mean?"
"Mare, I out of everyone knows what you mean. I'll be here no matter what. Don't forget that. Ever."
"Alright, don't make me cry. Go get on that plane and text me when you land. Go now before I stop you from leaving at all!" She shouted as I ran to the entrance, I would never forget Mare, and I hope she'd never forget me either.
