They had to sedate me once I got to the hospital. I started to feel a panic settling inside of me, and it definitely was different this time. I couldn't stop screaming at anyone who tried to touch me. Was as of I could see my attacker on every face, very few were also my dad. I scratched and scratched trying to free myself, Addie rushed in gripping my hands.
"Let go of me Addie!"
"Stop you're hurting yourself, if you don't stop I will call the doctor in. Please Em." She held my arms down looking at me, she had a terrified look on her face. I knew she was just as scared as I was. "Ari!" Addie shouted, still fighting with me to hold my arms still. I just wanted to be let go, I kept feeling him clinging onto me the more the straps dug into my skin. Aristotle came in through the door coming to his sisters aid. He held my arm still while she held the other one. Aristotle moved my hair from my face, and stroked my arm. The hair on my neck stood up, as I felt my body ease a bit.
"Em, its okay. We are at the hospital. You have straps on you because you went a bit nuts on the nurses trying to help you. I assume you are a little bit in shock, I need you to calm down for me." Aristotle whispered, his voice soothed my nerves. I stared at him, and only him. It felt like it was just us and the world. I didn't know if it was the sedative or me actually talking.
"A-Ari. I can't stop these straps they make me feel him clinging to me. I want it to stop please. I'll be better. Please." I begged wiggling a bit. He touched my head and pushed my hair from my forehead. His fingers gently ran down my face, to my cheek, then to my jawline.
"If I take these off will you listen and stay calm?" He asked, brushing his fingers alongside the buckles. My breath hitched in the back of my throat and I got goosebumps up my arms. Addie stood silently watching us two before she spoke up.
"Ari you can't. She might not be sta--"
"Addie will you just go get the doctor." He groaned, looking at her with a glare. She huffed and walked away not protesting to her brother.
"Yes. I will be calm." I answered, waiting for him to look back at me again. I craved his eye contact, I craved the sound of his voice. I would do about anything if that meant I would have peace. Aristotle unbuckled each arm, then my legs. Just as he did so, my door swung open. My doctor, Addie, and Sarah all rushed inside the room. The doctor rushed over to me trying to buckle me back up. I started to yan kmyself away from him, screaming. I clung onto Aristotle with all my might, not letting go.
"Look what you have done boy, you don't have permission to do that!"
"Permission? I don't need permission when she clearly is showing signs of trauma response! This is not aiding her its creating even more PTSD!" Aristotle shouted back at the doctor, his eyes seemed filled with flames, his cheeks red.
"She was a harm to herself and others. So regardless we have to restrain her!"
"Not if she agrees to calm down and not fight! But you didnt even ask her that did you? You didn't give her time, shit you didn't even give her a female nurse. Even after the police told you she was a victim of an attempted rape." He felt me flinch at the mention of rape. I didn't want to think about what could have happened and what did happen. I didn't want to be poked, I didn't want to be talked to. I just want to sleep.
I was so tired.
"So excuse me when I out of all you pathetic emotionless doctors decide to actually help her." The doctor stood in shock before he gave Aristotle a nasty look. He then turned to Sarah being the only one who can speak on my behalf.
"Mom, I know what I'm talking about." He spoke softly to his mother. Sarah, looked at me, trying to make eye contact. I instead clung to her son, violently shaking. I buried my face away from the others. Aristotle combed his fingers through my hair, calming me. He was so good at it, I didn't see that of him at all. Sarah nodded at her son, before looking back at the young doctor.
"I want her as she is. I also want a mew female doctor and nurse. I also would like to file a complaint with you and this hospital." She harshly snapped at the man. He grumbled and stormed out of the room. Leaving me and the rest of the family alone. Sarah walked closer kneeling on the floor beside me. I watched her hand touch her lips. She too was in shock, I seen panick and fear in her eyes.
"This is all my fault. I should have done a better job taking care of you. I didn't just let you down. I let Jemma down too. Oh Emera." She weeped into the bedsheets. My heart stung, as she mentioned my mothers name. I haven't heard it in so long I almost thought I forgot about it completely. I touched Sarah's hand, waiting for her to slowly move her head up. Kind of like the movies, but it wasn't slow. It was relatively fast, her eyes filled with tears.
"Its not your fault. I'm okay." Thats the last thing I said to her that night. The rest of the time we sat in silence. Aristotle never moved from my side of the bed. I only found comfort in him, it just felt like he understood me, and only me. Thats what I needed right now, all I wanted.
Safety.
