"SOULLLLLL MATTTEEEE WHERE AREEEE YOUUUU?!?!?!!?"
"Calm down, I'm right here. You don't need to scream."
"But soul mate, I'm being deprived of love!!!! I NEED YOU TO BE THE PERFECT GUY LIKE IN CLICHE WATTPAD BOOKS! WE NEED TO CUDDLE AND SNUGGLE TOGETHER!!!!"
"Don't you have a boyfriend or something? Why can't you find someone else to be your soul mate?"
"Because I believe we are meant to be together! Well, actually all of Wattpad does, and I refuse to let them down!"
"Can't you ever talk about anything normal?"
"What are you talking about? I am obviously THE MOST NORMAL PERSON IN THE WORLD. RIGHT WATTPAD?!?!?"
"Then why are you acting like we're in a Wattpad book?"
"Because if we write a book together about our love story when we get married, I want the readers to feel loved, UNLIKE YOU. God has given me such a cruel soul mate."
"Then go find another soul mate. I have no time for your childish games."
"Dude, are you a scholar or something? Man, you're so boring. I hope I'm the kind of girl who is able to change the guy."
"Well, you definitely change everyone by driving them insane."
"WHY GOD WHY ME? God, why couldn't you make me meet my soul mate in college or something? :("
"I know right."
"YOU'RE MY SOUL MATE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SUPPORT ME."
"Oh, was I? I never realized that."
"OUR LOVE STORY SHOULD BE A SMUT NOVEL."
"What the hell-"
"OOH, I CAN'T WAIT TO WRITE ABOUT OUR HOT KISSES AND YOU KNOW WHAT."
"Are you seriously-"
"Bro, I'm always serious. When haven't I been serious? I'm so serious that I can't handle it."
*facepalm* "You're definitely something else."
"YEAH, I'M A TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE! HHHYYYYYAAAAHHHH!!!" *kicks the air and falls down* "OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!"
*is laughing really hard* "Did you just *laugh* fall down?"
*gets up* "I will fight you, because the main girl character is supposed to be a BADASS fighter." *wishes to become a werewolf*
"Are you sure you want to fight a 20-year old guy who's probably stronger than you?"
"OMG YOU'RE 20?!?!? I KNEW WE WERE SOUL MATES." *dances*
"IS THAT THE ONLY THING YOU THINK ABOUT WHEN WE TALK?!?!?!?"
"Well, I also think about how our smut novel will go. Where should we start? ;)"
"God, you act like a perverted guy!"
"But you act like a girl, so you shouldn't be talking."
"No I don't!"
"You were supposed to be cocky and arrogant, like all the hot guys in Wattpad books. But nooooo, God has given me the most serious soul mate in the world."
"Hey, at least I'm trying."
"Trying, spying, just stop lying! Holy chicken nugget, I just made that up! I AM A GENIUS!"
"Yeah, keep believing that." *eye roll*
"Meanie!" *opens wattpad book* "Okay, so, according to the cliche, I'm supposed to ignore you until you say sorry, because it is impossible for any woman to be nice and forgive them." *closes book* *pretends to be angry* "I will never forgive you, because women are creatures of pure hatred."
"Ooookkkkaaaayyyy then..."
*fake cries* "You never loved me! I will never talk to you again! Oh, this is the part where I ignore you and hang up and then you chase after me, okay?"
"Ummmmm..."
"I'm gonna ignore you like every other angry woman on wattpad! GOODBYE!" *hangs up*
"Okay... I'm confused."
YOU ARE READING
Just A Friend
Nouvelles"So what are you to me?" "Someone you know in another dimension, time, life-" "Wait, what?" "Just a friend." ... BEWARE: Full of cringey humor. Ongoing editing. Expect face palming and laughter. You have been warned.
